You are currently browsing the monthly archive for September, 2005.
Something you should know about me. I torture those I love. This is what happens when I have too much free time and Sparky just wants me to shut up. Apparently, I have the ability to drive people mad.
I debated putting this on the Internet because; well, because he’s only wearing Post-Its. Then I thought of our lives before we were married. I’m sure there are MANY pictures of my love out there. At least in this one he’s covered up.
The Post-It craze in our house is officially over. Back to our regularly scheduled program.
Check out Cleo as she models this years latest in Business Casual wear at StuffOnMyCat.
She wants thank all the little people, including those morons who put pink post-its all over her. Geez, everyone knows pink is just not her color.
I have a fear of commitment. You might not guess that as I’m MARRIED and moved 6000 miles to live with that man, but its true.
For example:
I don’t watch movies over 90 minutes, too much of a commitment.
I don’t go on long walks that don’t include a treadmill, too much of a commitment.
I don’t join clubs that might depend on me in any way, too much of a commitment.
I teach ONE hour a week, too much of a commitment.
I don’t cook meals that take longer than 60 minutes. This is an improvement; it used to be 7 minutes.
When I got married, Sparky was all sweetness and light, even after I made him promise he wasn’t gay as we crossed the street to City Hall, minutes before the I Do’s. He was so eager to be married, married to me, he jumped the gun when the justice of the peace took a pause in reciting the vows to take a breath.
“I will, I do. Yes, Yes. Yes.”
He was/is every bride’s dream groom.
I, on the other hand was sweating as if I was stepping up to a firing squad. My knees were shaking so much, there was the distinct possibility I might fall down the 50 marble steps we stood above. And at the time I loved that man more than I imagined possible but I had no idea that I would love him so much more every day. I had no doubt I wanted to be with him, but the idea of being a “wife” made me a bit squeamish. Marriage is a really BIG commitment. I mean, really, I only want to do this once, you know.
Anyway, since the BIG one, I feel I’ve committed enough.
So my plans for the next two months might surprise you.
I’ve committed to German lessons. Montag bis Freitag, 9 Uhr bis 13 Uhr.
I have to call in if I’m going to miss a class.
Then, if that wasn’t commitment enough, I’ve decided to participate in NaNoWriMo.
A novel in 30 days. I’ve been toying with the idea of a novel for years. I have a working title. I have about 3 pages written, tons of notes, outlines ideas, but I’m more of a blog writer these days. Anything more is just too much of a commitment.
So come October and November I will be a busy beaver.
Do you know the leading cause of death in Beavers? Commitment.
So I have a problem.
I want to be Wonder Woman and the Wonder Twins won’t let me. They told me I could be Aquaman or L-Ron, but I don’t get to be Wonder Woman.
See, this started in Aug. Since they look the most alike with their red hair and pale/pinkish skin and blue eyes (think feeder mouse babies), they became the Wonder Twins. Then I got Fin and he’s orange and white so he became their mascot.
In that vein, I tried to be Jean Gray, but since she’s not a part of the Justice League it got nixed. That’s when Miranda suggested Aquaman.
Why Aquaman? Because he’s the suckiest of all the Justice League superheroes, because he can only talk to sea animals and move waves.
Since they handed down the decision (Don’t ask why do they get to make that decision, I’m still fighting it) every conversation is riddled with Superhero talk.
I called one morning specifically to wake Jeff and when he answered I yelled into the phone “WONDERWOMAN” and hung up.
The next day, I got a phone call. “AQUAMAN!!!” and a hang up.
So what would convince them that I am in fact Wonder Woman to their Wonder Twin?
Well, how about at the age of five, I had Wonder Woman UnderRoos resulting in a full-on Wonder Woman Halloween costume that won Mrs. Powell’s 1977 kindergarten costume contest, beating out Lisa Hansen’s Minnie Mouse hands down?
How about I was alive when WonderWoman came out on TV?
How about:
I’m the first feminist of the family.
I’m actually Royalty (my real family will find me some day)
I’m the best in the family with a Lasso.
I’m an experienced Golden Cuff user.
I have the gift of flight (Lufthansa)
I briefly dated many men who considered themselves Superman
I am an emissary for peace
Well, I might need to work on that last one, but who do they call when they have a battle to be fought? Wonder wo-maaan. Who do they call when they get in a jam? Wonder wo-maaan.
Not only that, but the ghetto blaster in the sky constantly plays music while I hunt down and disable the bad guys, when I save kittens and when I teach my fellow man to live in peace and harmony with each other.
I AM WonderWoman, so kiss my tushie, Twins.
I have a theory.
After years (2) of observation, I think the entire state of Hessen employs exactly ten road workers. And after years of observation, I’ve concluded these ten workers work Monday thru Thursday closing driving lanes all over Hessen. Then on Friday, they flip a coin to decide which of the 7541 worksites that they busily added to earlier in the week to work on. After the coin toss, its time for lunch. At 14:00 when lunchtime is over, they work very diligently until quitting time, 16:30.
Today’s weather is so like San Francisco, sunny and windy and a little crisp. If the sky had been two shades bluer, I wouldn’t have known the difference. The sky is one of the things I miss the most living here. The sky and burritos.
Today was the first hint of autumn I felt this year. Finally, the summer is over.
Today was the first time I’ve felt… relaxed? since I’ve been back.
Today, I was totally the Dr.’s wife.
The Dr.’s wife is something my GBF and I would dream about long ago when I was a swinging single girl and he wasn’t a Papa. To be a Dr.’s wife, one cannot work outside the home. It driving a nice car and flower arranging. It includes running errands in beautiful shoes and cashmere sweaters. It might have involved cooking, but that was never the kind of wife I wanted to be. I always wanted someone else to cook. It involved perfect makeup and coiffed hair. Another requirement I can never fulfill. My hair is always messy five minutes after I comb/style it.
I got up early, showered, dressed, kissed Markus goodbye as he left for business meetings. I had Dr.’s wife errands to run: the post office, dry cleaning, flowers, grocery shopping. And the sky was so blue and the wind removing more than a kiss of warmth from my skin. I drove around with the top down on my car and wasted gas. Just a little. And finally the clothes I look the best in are appropriate to the weather, my jeans, white t-shirt, cashmere v-neck sweater and snakeskin pointy flats. Even my red handbag looked good.
I made my secret recipe meatballs and pasta sauce this morning and let it simmer all day. I made brownies from scratch earlier so the house (clean from top to bottom) smells of warm brownies.
I watered all the plants, deadheaded the roses and put away all the laundry. I made lunch and cleaned up the crumbs before I ate. I never do that. If Markus could ask for one thing in a wife (other than kylie’s ass), it would be this woman, this day. I’m never this woman.
It was just one of those days were the stars aligned correctly and left me feeling complete in someway. Like I wasn’t waiting for something else, some other tragedy or heartbreak, some other life altering move, accident or ironic twist of fate. I felt like everything was okay, like I didn’t have to worry.
I held on to that feeling for the entire length of Kate Ryan’s “If I Only”. Then I got back to worrying. I mean, really, how long can a day like today last if I don’t worry
Sparky and I were just discussing how i finished off my smuggled bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter cups in like 2 hours after getting home. And it was big bag.
Now I’m sad because I have a craving and i can’t fix it. No, the ones in Walmart or Minimal don’t count. The peanut butter part is all dried out. I need the mini ones. Know what I’m talking about?
So, I have a question.
What American candy do you miss?
This was sent to me from a friend in NYC.
I have a ton of gmail invites.
If anyone wants one, drop me an e-mail.
Proving Sparky’s point, no doubt, but my sister has requested a picture of Fin and I can’t get flickr to work for some odd reason. So here it is Mim.
Photo by Sparky.
There’s a new guy in town – respectively on this Blog!
I’ve been added as an official team member – hooray!
This means a few changes around this place! Smut fiends,
look forward to many more Kylie pictures….
unless my wife stops me dead in my tracks.
But then again, isn’t the Blogging community supposed
to be a democracy?
So what say you, dear readers:
More family pictures of Jen’s or more Kylie?
I especially ask YOU: Guys like yesterday’s 10 visitors who
searched for “Kylie Minogue DVD” and “Kylie Minogues butt”,
then left this blog rather disappointed.
Don’t be shy to comment.
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Click picture to enlarge OR right-click picture and select ‘Save Target As’ to DOWNLOAD.
Click picture to enlarge OR right-click picture and select ‘Save Target As’ to DOWNLOAD.
Click picture to enlarge OR right-click picture and select ‘Save Target As’ to DOWNLOAD.
With love,
- The new team playah Sparky
