If I had no luck at all…

I have had the worst luck in the last few weeks. I’ve had nothing to write about because it has been so bad, I can’t even find humor in it. Yes, the girl who can find humor in a dead mother can’t find a joke to save her life.

A short glum list:

• Ollie had to have a second surgery and is thus confined to a playpen for a longer period of time (his bad luck)
• I lost my diamond anniversary bracelet
• I spent a day with my mother-in-law
• Killed a phone with the simple touch of my hand
• Chipped our granite counter-top opening a cheap bottle of wine
• Two words - Root canal
• My hair is now a color in between cat piss yellow and 80s skater bronze (you know, those dark haired guys who bleached only the bangs but badly so it came out a orangey brassy bronzey color)
• Fertility drugs are kicking my ass
• Thought I was out of Hamburg, moved everything back… I’ll be driving up again on Sunday.

Trust me, the rest is worse. I don’t want to depress you. Let’s just say that I should forget about fertility drugs and just try it the old fashion way because it is so not the right time to have a kid that Ironus would definitely choose this month to drop a kid in to the House of Flying Cats. Not one, but three, all at the same time with two mouths each.

I will go to Paris next week. For a whole 1.5 days. All of which will be spent in a conference.

Why?

Because sometimes bodies do not do what is expected of them, thus forcing the cognitive part of said body to reschedule all other tasks to fly a day late at great expense to catch up with the other body necessary to not completely waste 500 euros worth of injections. Hopefully, Sparky and I can avoid being tear gassed like we were on our honeymoon. (No, it wasn’t S/M gone awry, it was an omen a riot we inadvertently walked into.)

I looked up Luck on Wikipedia and it made me want to kick my computer in the head. I, however, do not currently have the funds to replace this machine so its safe for now.

I’m going to go throw salt around. I’ll probably just get it in my eye or an open wound, but it’s better than just leaving things to the universe, right?