Germans are always in the way

Have you ever noticed how standard posts on average, uninspired Blogs seem to repeat content like “The other night I went to a party, drank a lot, got into a fight, went home…” or “Yesterday, I went to a party with my friend, got trashed, had a fight, then went home…” or maybe even my favorite “Tonight I went to a party, had a lot of vodka shots, got into a fight with some bitch, and then hobbled home…”.

This pattern is especially prevalent with Blogs written by American twenty-something cubicle slaves of the female variety. How this relates to “Germans always being in the way”, you ask?

Tonight, I went to a party at my best friends new house, drank a lot (of water) and wanted to eat even more (delicious meat). Then I got into a fight with some bland, yet rude German girls who blocked the way to the buffet and prattled incessantly, while failing to actually scoop some meat and then get the hell out of my way. I don’t tolerate people preventing me from eating very easily. So I smashed their heads together, peed in their faces, got thrown out of the house and was beaten up by my best friend, before I crawled home.

Wait, forget that last sentence. That only happened in my head.

I did however, scare the girls away from the buffet by telling several versions of the “Aristocrats Joke” I heard Penn Jillette defend. Wait, that also happened only in my head. In reality, I read about that joke on the Good Wife’s Blog earlier today and then decided to use it to gross out the poor girls who blocked my buffet.

The weapon in question is a dirty joke that exists in a couple of hundred varieties by now. The point of it is to add your own that is even more disgusting than the one before.
First read the latest iterations, then try your own luck by submitting yours here.

Thank you, Good Wife. You enabled me to eat meat tonight. Problem is, now I want to throw it up, feed it to a dog, grill and eat him, thrown him up again and feed him to my naked sister. Or something like that.


7 thoughts on “Germans are always in the way

  1. sparky, please do not post after drinking water. oh my god, what has happened to you in my absence.

  2. I think it has less to do with my drinking water than with the fact that I posted this at 5 am in the morning.

    Oh my God, what have I done?

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