So I have a problem.
I want to be Wonder Woman and the Wonder Twins won’t let me. They told me I could be Aquaman or L-Ron, but I don’t get to be Wonder Woman.
See, this started in Aug. Since they look the most alike with their red hair and pale/pinkish skin and blue eyes (think feeder mouse babies), they became the Wonder Twins. Then I got Fin and he’s orange and white so he became their mascot.
In that vein, I tried to be Jean Gray, but since she’s not a part of the Justice League it got nixed. That’s when Miranda suggested Aquaman.
Why Aquaman? Because he’s the suckiest of all the Justice League superheroes, because he can only talk to sea animals and move waves.
Since they handed down the decision (Don’t ask why do they get to make that decision, I’m still fighting it) every conversation is riddled with Superhero talk.
I called one morning specifically to wake Jeff and when he answered I yelled into the phone “WONDERWOMAN” and hung up.
The next day, I got a phone call. “AQUAMAN!!!” and a hang up.
So what would convince them that I am in fact Wonder Woman to their Wonder Twin?
Well, how about at the age of five, I had Wonder Woman UnderRoos resulting in a full-on Wonder Woman Halloween costume that won Mrs. Powell’s 1977 kindergarten costume contest, beating out Lisa Hansen’s Minnie Mouse hands down?
How about I was alive when WonderWoman came out on TV?
I’m the first feminist of the family.
I’m actually Royalty (my real family will find me some day)
I’m the best in the family with a Lasso.
I’m an experienced Golden Cuff user.
I have the gift of flight (Lufthansa)
I briefly dated many men who considered themselves Superman
I am an emissary for peace
Well, I might need to work on that last one, but who do they call when they have a battle to be fought? Wonder wo-maaan. Who do they call when they get in a jam? Wonder wo-maaan.
Not only that, but the ghetto blaster in the sky constantly plays music while I hunt down and disable the bad guys, when I save kittens and when I teach my fellow man to live in peace and harmony with each other.
I AM WonderWoman, so kiss my tushie, Twins.