Commitment By Any Other Name

I have a fear of commitment. You might not guess that as I’m MARRIED and moved 6000 miles to live with that man, but its true.

For example:

I don’t watch movies over 90 minutes, too much of a commitment.
I don’t go on long walks that don’t include a treadmill, too much of a commitment.
I don’t join clubs that might depend on me in any way, too much of a commitment.
I teach ONE hour a week, too much of a commitment.
I don’t cook meals that take longer than 60 minutes. This is an improvement; it used to be 7 minutes.

When I got married, Sparky was all sweetness and light, even after I made him promise he wasn’t gay as we crossed the street to City Hall, minutes before the I Do’s. He was so eager to be married, married to me, he jumped the gun when the justice of the peace took a pause in reciting the vows to take a breath.

“I will, I do. Yes, Yes. Yes.”

He was/is every bride’s dream groom.

I, on the other hand was sweating as if I was stepping up to a firing squad. My knees were shaking so much, there was the distinct possibility I might fall down the 50 marble steps we stood above. And at the time I loved that man more than I imagined possible but I had no idea that I would love him so much more every day. I had no doubt I wanted to be with him, but the idea of being a “wife” made me a bit squeamish. Marriage is a really BIG commitment. I mean, really, I only want to do this once, you know.

Anyway, since the BIG one, I feel I’ve committed enough.

So my plans for the next two months might surprise you.

I’ve committed to German lessons. Montag bis Freitag, 9 Uhr bis 13 Uhr.
I have to call in if I’m going to miss a class.

Then, if that wasn’t commitment enough, I’ve decided to participate in NaNoWriMo.

A novel in 30 days. I’ve been toying with the idea of a novel for years. I have a working title. I have about 3 pages written, tons of notes, outlines ideas, but I’m more of a blog writer these days. Anything more is just too much of a commitment.

So come October and November I will be a busy beaver.

Do you know the leading cause of death in Beavers? Commitment.


7 thoughts on “Commitment By Any Other Name

  1. At least you didn’t have such a sense of commitment when you ran off to get married that you didn’t think that you’d need anyone to go with you. Only to discover that your husband-to-be only had an expired copy of his ID with him. Yup, I was married in front of three stoned teenagers willing to say they knew my husband for Twenty dollars.

  2. oh my god, that’s so funny. Cali is really lax about marrying foreigners. More lax then with expired ids, it seems.

  3. I bet the book is going to be interesting. You should self publish it through ‘Lulu’…..just hope you don’t write it in German though 🙂

  4. See??? You really ARE Wonder Woman. German lessons every day (I did those and guess what? It was FUNNNN! And I even learned German!)AND NaNoWriMo? As a person who has rarely committed to anything in her life, I’m impressed.

  5. Thanks you guys for the encouragement. Its really nice.

    I’m so scared about the german lessons. I feel like I’m walking in to kindergarten for the first time. And I’m such a dunderhead with this language what if i go through the class and still don’t know german? that’s what I’m really afraid of…

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