Slo Mo Stumble

First of all, thank you for all the responses to Sparky’s green query. We have three computers and on two it looks a little bright to my bad eyes. On my laptop, its quite nice and easy to read, but on Sparky’s the color is a lot brighter. I just didn’t want to force the color on other eyeballs.

This week started out very badly. It was kinda like a stumble. You know, the toe of your shoe catches on the rug and its just a little stumble, but the more you try to right yourself, the more top heavy momentum you pick up until you run headfirst into the wall or fall, ungraciously and painfully, twisting life and limb. When you come to, you’re not quite sure how it happened.

Monday morning I woke thinking it was Friday. I didn’t know why, but I did. And the week just got worse. I had so many plans, so much to do, yet all I wanted was a big bowl of Ben&Jerry’s and a few good movies. Instead, I just pushed on, one leg heavily in front of the other until finally Friday came and went.

I’m about ready to drop kick Cleo and Fin. The two of them have conspired to drive me mad. I thought cats were supposed to sleep. I thought it was like 20 hours of naps with cats. It seems that these two do not need to sleep, especially when I need it. If I should think to sleep in, they quickly break me of that thought. God damned cats. I have to keep telling myself “Don’t shake the baby. DON’T shake the baby!”

And Fin is teething all over my arms, hands and toes. He’s a monster. I’ve never had a cat like him before. He’s cat control for me. No more kittens, ever. I’m just sitting peacefully and before you know it, he’s George Bush and the back of my arm is an oil field. And kitten teeth really hurt. I can feel his little jaw trembling, trying to figure out exactly how hard he can bite without being hurdled across the room.

I’m starting to think human babies might be the way to go.

Sparky was OOT for a record 4 days. I had the house, homework, and cats to myself. Anyone who knows Sparky can attest to his anal retentive nature. I, however, suffer from more of the loose bowel condition. When Sparky is gone, I can kick my shoes off as I walk in the house only to find them in the same place later. I wrote all about it here a while ago. The four days were nice, but my schedule was thrown off. I’m not exactly talented at self-discipline, so things might have gone a little wonky around here. It might have helped my week to have some structure.

I’ve had so much German homework. Still do. I’m really going crazy with it. I’ve gone from head of the class to 2nd to the bottom, only the Somali lady who just learned to read and write is below me. After class, I’ve been busting my ass to absorb more and more Deutsch.

When I said I wasn’t so good with foreign language, I really meant it. I wasn’t being coy or lazy. I really suck. Part of the problem is my brain. I cannot learn anything by rote. I need to understand and comprehend. I can’t comprehend Deutsch because everything is irregular. So as soon as I get one rule down and learn the basics, the irregularities pop up like kids at Neverland. So I just hit the books harder. That’s all I can do, I guess, save for paying someone to take the tests for me.

I pay well, just drop me an email. Kidding… just kidding. If I did that, I’d also have to pay you to speak to my mother-in-law and I just don’t have that kind of money.

And lastly, I just could not look at my computer for another second. With Sparky traveling the countryside, it was only me in a lonely red room. Me and the damn cats jumping on the keyboard and drinking the water out of vases, knocking over piles of papers, fighting, knocking books out of the bookshelves, fighting and being otherwise obnoxious.

Two cats for the price of one right now, OBO.


9 thoughts on “Slo Mo Stumble

  1. No to the cats, for SURE.

    I’m sorry you’re not doin’ so hot this week 😦 Is there no one from the class that you can study with to kind of help you along a bit?

  2. Terribly sorry to hear that last week was a bad week for you. I hope your weekend went well. I assume it did when Sparky came home.

  3. This week will be better, right? Because THIS week I’m finally going to get around to sending you those recipes I promised.

  4. If it’s any consolation our 2 cats (Mickey & Minnie) have been going nuts these last 2 weeks. Perhaps its the change of seasons/weather…or whatever!
    I think you are really brave with the German thing. My mind thinks logically as well and cant deal with the irregular rules of German!

  5. Jen,
    How is your NaNoWriMo project going? Tatiana is doing great, though in a block, she is well beyond the numbers she thinks she has.

    She also will be adding some new erotic photography soon at

    She will be shooting a wonderful model, possibly as soon as this weekend so keep looking……

    Saban Ki
    author of:
    “The Greatest Novel is Life”

  6. Your post reminded me of a friend of mine who is married to a german girl. When you asked her something she would just stare at you for a few seconds and then answer. After I got to know her better I asked her why. She said she still thinks in german. When I asked her something she had to translate it to german in her head, think of her reply, then translate that back to english. . .yeesh, I think would take the Harpo Marx route and just give up talking.

  7. You scare me ! When I read about your experiences with German lessons the hairs on the back of my neck get all prickly.

  8. The cats will grow out of it a lot quicker than human kids will–trust me on that one 🙂

    Come to think of it, some human babies NEVER grow up and get civilized. Look at some of our current politicians………

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