NaNoWriMo is over for me.  I have only 4000 words and its week three.  Shit.

I did 8 hours of German homework last night AFTER 4 hours of school.  At 9:00 pm, still not understanding dative and accusative, I threw my German grammar books across the room and fled to the bedroom screaming.  After 10 minutes of frustration-induced tears, I brushed my teeth and declared the day over.  I swore to a very quiet Sparky I was not going to go back to school.  Ever.  Never ever. Ich war fit und fertig.

(BerlinCologneBound:  Don’t worry, I’m just a complete dolt when it comes to foreign languages.  I’m positive it will be easier for you.)

Asleep by 10 pm.  Woven into my dreams, German pronouns biting my feet and licking my face.  At 1am, whiskers entered my nostrils.  How do I know it was 1 am?  Something about cat whiskers up the nose.  I could be in a coma, enter the whisker and voila… a miracle.  The glow from the alarm clock kept me awake for another hour.  Sparky got up for a protein shake or a potty break a bit later.  An hour or so after that, Fin and Cleo decided to scratch the glass door and the walls and my pillow looking for a bit of down upon which to rest her little cat head.  God damned cats.

Up and out the door at 6 am.  Coffee was cranky and bitter in my mouth, the terrible-only-in-an-emergency brand that no amount of sugar or milk can hide.  I took Sparky to the train station.  I swear I saw him smile as he quickly got out of the car, relieved for a day away.  I was at school when the doors opened.  Signed up for a private lesson with one of my teachers.  I have the GKII test next week and if I fail, I have to re-take GKII.  I guess it wouldn’t be so bad, since I’m so lost, but I would hate to be in the class with that poser American?-I-am-Frenchman-oui-oui-wanker.  And I really hate failing at anything.  Even mini-golf.  

My inner world is a whirling mass of anxiety mixed with competition, a dab of (justified) hypochondria, and just a pinch of aggression.  Just be glad you’re not privy to my inner dialogue.  It’s not pretty in here.

I digress.

Class wasn’t so bad today.  I got a few things right and the teacher who will tutor me for an exorbitant 70€ assured me I was not alone and that I understood more than I thought I did.  She swore up and down I would be prepared for the test next week. For 70€, I certainly hope so.  I just want to be better then the Somali lady.  Ester speaks five languages.  I don’t need to be better than Ester.   And 70€ is way less expensive than a divorce and if I don’t learn German, I’m gonna have to move.

As for the kitten, well, in a few minutes I take him for the old snip-snip. This has been planned.  Its not like I woke up all pissy and decided to take the logical next step. I hope it calms him down.  He knows something is happening. Since I got home from school, he’s been nothing but that lovable kitten I brought home from America.

Huh… I guess my week could be worse.  I could be Fin.


9 thoughts on “Ballocks

  1. €70 for how many lessons??? I hope she’d not ripping you off. I work for FREE (for you, at least), but I have no idea if I can explain all that stuff. I mailed you, BTW.

    Poor Fin – I’m sure he’ll forget all about his balls in a couple of days and turn into tje mild mannered kitty you’ve been longing for. Red tabbies usually have quite the personality. We had one that was so sweet and another that was a total menace.

  2. OMG ROFL, did you give us a picture of testicles? LOLOL… so funny. They look like eyeballs kind of, but also like huff-n-puff the hot air balloon. (Up, up, and away in my beautiful balloon)

  3. c: I’ll write you about the tutor. its through the school and they charge 35€ per 45 minutes with a 90 minute minimum.
    I have to do it once. I think i understand stuff, i just need a little tweaking to make all the pieces fit, like sentance structure.

    Fin is a total love bug during the day, its the night time that is just unbearable right now.

    N: I know, don’t they?

    s: Yeah, maybe, but what fun would that be.

    Snip Snip will not calm him down, he is too old already!

    Snip Snip just will keep the pussy away!

  5. Wow! Homework is important, but experience and reality are more important , and I sure am glad I never looked at these pics or studied this stuff.

    I experienced it and so much the better!

  6. When I used to help out at a vets I could stomach all ops apart from the ones when balls were cut off……it made me feel really quite queasy.

    Get well soon Fin, and never mind the bollocks!

  7. Damn – I’m glad I decided to comment today because I had no IDEA what that procedure was until I did and I’m not going to say what I thought it might be!

    Off to the airport in 4 hours – oh boy – it’s geeting very real!

    Ciao for now …

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s