Mama Tomato

What did the Mama Tomato say to the Baby Tomato when he lagged behind?

Catch up…Catch up…

Okay…. I passed. I passed with 138.5 points out of 158 possible. They consider that a “2” or a B in American terms. I’ll take that, pass go and collect $200.00, please.

So now I’m in GKIII. And I have three weeks to learn what I would normally have four. Sparky and I are heading “Home for the Holidays” this year, a week before the end of the course. I’m taking a few after class lessons to learn what I need to to pass that test.

And, guess who’s my grammar teacher, the one that grades the tests? None other than Mr. Arschloch, the pedantic ass. When he walked in this morning all eyes turned towards me to see my reaction. I just smiled. After all, I’m already signed up for tutoring, so it doesn’t matter how much he screws up. My tutor will help with my homework and I’ll sail right through, right? At least that’s what I’m hoping.


It snowed yesterday and it was fabulous. My car didn’t like it so much. It took me 1 ½ hours to drive the 15 minutes to school. Actually Sparky drove and I was so glad because it was icy and we slid and it was overall pretty scary. When it was over, it seemed like such fun.

And Thanksgiving was great. I have to say, J is one of the best guests ever. And yes, Mausi, we would adopt him in a minute. I promise, next year, it’ll be a bigger bird.

Frank, the bird, was a bit small for our crowd, but did well enough. He came out all juicy. My step-mom suggested the brine method and it really is delish. I had to make more stuffing for Sparky and I. I mean really, what else are you going to do with all the leftover cranberry sauce if you don’t have stuffing? Leftovers are the best part.

After more than a year, we’ve got the painters back in to fix the big crack in our wall and all the other construction related errors. Our bathroom is being painted right now and its almost impossible for me to walk into a room with wet paint and not get it in my hair, on my face, my clothes, my ass. Sparky has closed off the bathroom and I have to be very, very careful. The first time I used it today when I got home from school, I could tell Sparky wanted to chaperone to make sure I left everything alone. Yesterday, I touched the spackle before it was dry and Sparky almost took my hand off. We had to call the painter back in to fix it.

I swear, construction is never really done. We’re waiting until the dead of winter for the floor guys. You know when its impossible to move furniture outside and impossible to walk in the house and it will take 5 weeks to complete. For some reason, coming in the summer was impossible. Autumn was full. Winter seems to be the best time for the fuckers who totally ruined my floors to come back. It will probably be in Feb when no handwerker worth his weight in bier works more than three days in total between all the holidays. Damn krauts.

Our replacement fridge is being delivered tomorrow after the eight-month waiting period. Don’t you know? If anything is under warrantee here in the land of service and hospitality, it’s a minimum of 8 month to get anything replaced. The delivery guy is afraid of our one flight of stairs. The original delivery guys had to walk across an 8-inch board because the slate in our hallway had just been laid the morning our American sized fridge was delivered. This new guy has it made. I wish he’d quit his whining. Oh, and let me say it again. Don’t use Bulthaup (Kutchen Schmiedel) for your kitchen. The design is fabu, the service sucks and when paying that kind of money for a kitchen, they ought to service you and your friends.

Sparky and I watched “Taken”. I was up all night waiting for the bright lights and little gray men to take me away. Like I told Sparky, my grip on reality is tenuous at best. I probably should stick to “G” rated shows. Really, Polar Express had me on the edge of my seat. There were a few moments there where the train looked like it might not make it to the North Pole. That’s enough for me.

I have to go stare at my cats who look more and more human the more I look at them. I’ll probably freak myself out and then fall into a fitful sleep filled with German verbs, alien cats and psycho construction workers.

‘night.

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5 thoughts on “Mama Tomato

  1. Wow, you’ve been a busy gal. SO glad to hear you passed your test! What a relief. And you’ll get through the rest of it too.

    Frank looked fabulous and I’m craving stuffing and cranberry sauce RIGHT NOW.

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