Like a bad penny…

We’re Baack.

Hayzeus it’s been a long time. I meant to blog while in Cali, but it was non-stop action the entire time.

My back went “out” just before we left and just today it went back “in”. Even with a visit to the chiropractor, I hobbled around for three weeks. Looks like I just needed my own bed.

We got home late Friday after a very long flight. Sparky and I spent the weekend in bed, napping and watching two seasons of Gilmore Girls. We needed a vacation after our vacation.

Sparky is working in Hamburg today and I had my first day of class. I made it to level four and managed to forget everything I just spent three months learning. Tomorrow should be fun.

Speaking of German class, that chick Anya with the böse Onkel came back. I thought she was one of his new chickadees. I only saw her from behind as she jumped out of the BMW Z4 cabrio. Her thigh high boots, skin tight jeans and cropped white fur jacket confused me for a second, but once I caught a frontal view, I saw her bare stomach muscles in –4°C weather and I knew it was Anya.

I’m totally jealous. I would love to dress hooker-chic. I don’t have the body for it. I would end up looking more like trailer park/Doritos chic and that is so over.

It’s more than the body; it’s the clothes. Where does one find these clothes? I’m serious. Thigh high black boots and jeans that fit in them without ruining the thin line of her leg, where do you find these? Amazing. The cropped, white fur jacket, nothing says hooker better. This isn’t your typical sexy wear to be found in sex shops. This stuff is authentic.

Man, matched with the Wet ‘n Wild icy pink lipstick and you have a walking piece of pop culture.

Anyway, I have loads of laundry and a ton of “stuff” to put away. Where does this stuff come from and how the hell did I manage to pack it all? I think there is a stuff bug one picks up while traveling. It just keeps shitting “stuff” until you get home and put it all away. The longer you’re gone, the more it produces.

I have a million of stories to tell so this week I will post a new one everyday. We have miniature horses, polluting the Canadian wilderness, Irish coffees and washed out roads. There’s the meeting of a fellow blogger and his tall Kraut. Then there’s my gay boyfriend, coffee, cigarettes and the memory of long gone single days. Add a sister, a brother, a husband, large firearms and a loopy poodle and let me tell you, it’s a barrel of laughs.

So forgive my uninspired jet-lagged writing and come back tomorrow.

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11 thoughts on “Like a bad penny…

  1. Oh god, do you know how boring it was without you guys? I’m SO glad you’re back.

    Can’t wait to hear the stories. Knowing you we’ll all either be spitting our coffee on the screen or peeing our pants, depending on how old we are and how many children we have.

  2. Hi Jen! Welcome home. It was great meeting you and Sparky. I look forward to your funny stories. My tall Kraut is at work and I am here in the internet cafe. I had my first German language class today and it went well. I met a girl in my class from San Francisco! What a small world. Matt and I should have an internet connection starting Wednesday. Our land phone line will be on tomorrow. So I will email you our phone number later. Take care, glad your back and I´m glad your back is better. 😉

  3. just gotta say that your writing keeps me thoroughly entertained. Your description of “hooker-chic” had me laughing hard because it felt so ‘real’, if it can be put that way. will look forward to more!

  4. Please don’t be so quick to dismiss trailer park/Doritos chic. I’m pretty sure it is a look that is going to come back.

    But then again I still have a gray leisure suit from 1978.

  5. Hey Sweetie!

    Glad you and Sparky are back.

    I’m with Christina, can hardly wait to hear more about your antics!

    And your school stuff. How that goes.

    And I am delighted to find Mr. Fabulous here replete with his leisure suit (3 handguns and some really good pudding 🙂

  6. Thanks you guys. I missed you too. I have to spend a few days catching up on everyone.

    Mr. fabu – oh don’t get me wrong, this summer i was in tank tops drinking out of mason jars. I can so go there. Its just been done.

    James. this is so not fair. you must suffer at some point. its part of the whole expat thing. how do you suffer with ready made friends and community and 1st day of class meeting a girl from the city?? So glad you’re here.

    A: thanks.

  7. Welcome home! Hope your back is doing better.

    The “hooker chic” makes me giggle because I used to have a mom who came to story hours that had that sort of look. (I think she was from Switzerland, come to think of it!)

    She was very nice, and the kids were adorable, but her CLOTHES!I especially remember some sort of short feathered jacket worn with incredibly tight black leather pants. It just screamed “Time Square”– pre-Disney Times Square,that is!

  8. LL, seriously, I have seen some of the worst fashion choices here in the land of sausage and kraut. But the Ukraine and the russian women Take. The. Cake.

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