Anger Management is a part of Integration

I hate my German school. I want to quit. I got myself in to a sticky sucky situation where I’m damned either way and there is no way I can win. Why? Because I seem to use a different kind of logic. You know the logic that says if I go to a school for six months, I don’t want to pay a €50 registration fee for the seventh.

If you live in the Darmstadt area, do not go to Studio Mondiale. The office staff are the rudest, most pigheaded bunch of bureaucrats (and I mean that in the nastiest possible way) I’ve dealt with in a while. And I built my house from scratch. I’ve dealt with rude and stubborn people. I’ve dealt with rules and the “Rules cannot be broken” attitude and these people take the cake. One of the secretaries, I think her name is Alexandra, is sleeping with the boss Martin, so she feels free to be as wretched and inflexible as she wants.

When I asked to speak with Martin I was told that I could not. As in no, you cannot speak to Martin. As in it is not possible. I think it’s the whole may I/can I — Dürfen/Können issue that we Americans seem to screw up. Actually, I CAN speak with Martin because he and I both have the ability to speak, however, I may not speak with Martin because you will not transfer my call.

That whole go up the line to the powers that be thing doesn’t seem mean anything here. I know we speak different languages, but the idea was so foreign to these people, you would have thought I suggested toilet paper was the new black. Huh, what does that mean, you want to speak with my boss? I do not understand. It is not in the rule book. Let me call the Amt and I’ll call you back a week from Tuesday. Oh, wait calls back are not in the contract for the integration course. Sorry. It will cost you €35 in advance for a call back.

My dad sent the following to me. I think it’s appropriate.

The second is a funny and totally NSFW video. I think this too is a somehow appropriate. They should hand out lube with each perm residency permit. A little welcome to Germany kit.


5 thoughts on “Anger Management is a part of Integration

  1. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Both of those clips had me in hysterics.

    Stiff necked Germans make me nuts. Germans so stiff necked that even other Germans think they’re a pain in the ass are something I will leap through hoops to avoid.

  2. Oh man, what a bunch of sweethearts, eh? Bureaucracy at its finest. I have a feeling a lot of the language schools are run like that though. Well, actually, the whole of Germany is run like that.

    That first clip has been going around for a couple of weeks and I LOVE it. And the second one made me crack up, so to speak. 🙂

  3. I’ve found my new favorite video! 😀

    As for your pain, I feel it. Been there. Quit. And look at me now, five years later, and still just as dumb as the day I stood at her desk and and silently mouthed “bitch!” at the back of her head. Whaddya gonna do? It’s either learn to live with them or shoot yourself in the foot.

  4. I know you know how much the ‘it can’t be done’ thing bothers me. However, it’s a fact of life here (one that I’m not sure if I’ll ever get used to).

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