Dentistry, Gay Soccer Player, Pitt Bulls, The Russian Mafia and Mutti

This will be brief. I got up way too early to hit the gym before my third and final dental appointment for the stupid root canal. It’s done, finis, fertig and I feel like I’ve been in the ring with Russell Crowe for three hours. My jaw aches something fierce. I go back at the end of March so he can look at the rest of what used to be perfect California teeth. I’m really looking forward to that.

Sparky told me today that he was the guy who gave his soccer team members massages during the game. If I hadn’t made him promise he wasn’t gay before we got married, I might be a little worried.

The hotel where we had our German wedding celebration is turning into a whorehouse. I thought that was appropriate and fun. In the future, I can point it out and say, “Oh look, that’s were we celebrated our wedding in Germany. We had such a good time. Mutti organized the whole thing.” Mutti’s not so thrilled. She’s worried about the Russian Mafia and pit bulls, she and the other 600 Hausfraus that live there.

If I walk five kilometers in the morning, do I actually have to move for the rest of the day?


12 thoughts on “Dentistry, Gay Soccer Player, Pitt Bulls, The Russian Mafia and Mutti

  1. In the ring with Russell Crowe? Groovy!
    Poor teeth! {{{Jen}}}
    You made yours promise he wasn’t gay too? *LOL* A girl can’t be too careful these days!
    Mail on the way.
    No, you don’t.

  2. Just because Sparky massaged men does NOT mean he’s gay! 🙂

    You know what I think? You (meaning we) move to Germany and your teeth go to pot. It must be the water. Hope you feel better really soon.

    They’re opening up a whorehouse here in the middle of town right between a bunch of reputable businesses and people are pretty fussed up. I should go take a picture of the righteous indignation.

    Doing 5 km releases you from even having to think about exercising for the rest of the week!

  3. Christina, then I’m excused from exercising for the rest of my life (due to all the cycling I do)?

  4. hahah too funny, 5k is plenty of exersize for the day, no go get some good german chocolate and relax for petes sake!

  5. just out of curiosity, please ask sparky for me, the gypsies really tied themselves to the tree to give birth?? he has seen the pictures…? crazy!

  6. Hi Kim/Thomas,

    Indeed, I have seen the pictures. But that was the (early?) 60’s, so I’m not exactly sure if that happens anymore…

    – sparky

  7. Jen,
    I enjoy your blog. I crack up whenever you mention Mutti. Keep writing about her. I love it.

  8. So I know this has nothing at all to do with your post, but I know you’ll get over it. So there definately will be a visit from me in mid-August…if you are in Germany. I somehow found other people who want to backpack through Europe. crazy, huh? Well I’ll be honest – I wanted to travel luxuriously through Europe but the boys said backpack or find new traveling partners. And I chose the former, hesitantly. So I’ll be sending stuff to your house… because I honestly have no clue how I’ll survive otherwise. But either way I’m still excited. Say Hi to Sparky for me! Miss you!

  9. Mr FaB: Sweety, they are a dime a dozen.

    Spaghetti: For a second, i thought you were my brother who i call S’ghetti arms. I’d love to write more about Mutti however, as i am still married to Mutti’s creation, its hard. believe me, there is enough material, but Sparky gets this disappointed look on his face and all his german friends think i’m a mean nasty american making fun of a sweet old hausfrau. I stand firm in that its not fun, more of simple observation. the result is still the same.

    Anna: get your ass over here already. mi casa es su casa and all that jazz.

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