Girls Gone Wild without Joe Francis

Today I was like the freakin’ U.S. Army. I got more done before 9 am… I know the commercial says 6 am, but come freekin’ on. That’s just too early these days.

Dropped Sparky off for a Hamburg headed train at 6 am, worked out, walked 5 km (on a treadmill), picked up the dry cleaning, bottled water, printer cartridges and four movies. Phew. Then I took a really long nap as I watched Dr. Dolittle 3. I don’t want to hear about it. I like movies with talking animals.

Then I noticed a nice puke stain from Ms. Cleo. She is super sick right now and I have no idea what to do about it. She’s on medicine and I have an appointment tomorrow morning with the Vet, but I am very, very worried. The whole chose between your husband and cat thing is not something we bring up in this house because it tends to hurt Sparky’s feelings, so you can imagine my level of anxiety over Cleo right now.

What else, what else. I know there was something else I wanted to write about, but it just left my brain. Have you noticed the more German you learn, the less English words you can remember? No? Maybe it’s just me.

Oh, I know… Last weekend. Yes, yes. That was it. Did anyone mention the pillow fights in babydolls (I was going to add a picture here, but I could only find naked ones. Sorry.) Or the sudsing each other up in the shower? No? No Sorority House antics mentioned? Well, maybe because they didn’t happen, pervert.

Well, what can I add to our society of mutual admiration? I can say that if you weren’t there, you were talked about. Yes, you. And you. And you. If you are on any of our blog rolls you were talked about. Yep. Next time you need to be there to make sure we’re all being nice.

It was mostly of the “ Oh, I wish Ginnie had been able to make it.” or “What will it take to get Belinda to an event because she seems so cool?” or “B seems like a hoot.” variety.

I was so happy with the last minute spontaneous decisions of Claire and Lisa to just jump on that train and hope for the best. And Mausi, I can’t tell you how great she is because there are way to many people singing her praises to hear my voice, but I’m singing along, not just mouthing the words. She’s freekin’ awesome.

Mausi – Thanks for helping make the birthday cake that you didn’t get to eat. It was delish. I was so sad when Sparky took you away and there sat the little cake. It seems like there is never enough time, doesn’t it?

Lisa – I just want to say, I’m glad you were armed and I appreciate you telling me. It saved me a lot of blood. I was going to try to that whole “sell you to slave traders” thing, but once I knew you could cut me, I decided to call it all off. On a serious note. It takes a lot to jump on that train and meet people. Some people can do it with ease, but for others it’s really not that easy and Lisa, you did it and it was awesome. Thanks for taking that chance and I hope you do it again. Scrunchy told me he wanted to play with you last night, but you were gone and he was sad.

Claire – Tell the German he has Lisa to thank for your safety. Man, if she weren’t armed we would have gotten a REALLY good price for you. Money almost changed hands. And I did see the “hidden” microphone. I know you work for the NSA, but its okay. As long as you didn’t see the documents documenting our money laundering scam in the Caymans, I think we’re still good.

Sparky – Sparky was awesome. He did everything and allowed me to enjoy my ladies. He drove, he cleaned, he fetched, he smiled, he joked around and he never once complained about anything. Even when he wanted to pass out from exhaustion, he stayed up waiting for our next desire. You rock, husband. Oh except for your propensity to bring up silicon horse cock. Thank god for Tom Cruise because I have no idea how you could work that in to the conversation with out him. Because, you know, Tom Cruise Loves Horse CockOh and to answer your question, it’s $140.00. Those furries, man, they know how to accessorize.

All and all, it was awesome. We needed more time. I mean, really. Get four women who are starved for female conversation and we’d really need a week or two to run out of stuff to talk about. There is no substitute for face time.

Next time I think we should get a manicurist to come over and treat us all. You would never know it by looking out my window, but it is towards the end of May and I would like to wear sandals.

So ladies, shall we start to plan the next one? When kids are back in school and all our holidays have been taken and we’re glum again? I do not mind hosting again. It was a pleasure.

All right, I have to go watch my Queen Latifah movie and snuggle with Cleo. Later Gators…

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8 thoughts on “Girls Gone Wild without Joe Francis

  1. Which Queen Latifa movie? Is it the one with a taxi? I saw that on an airplane to somewhere (probably Thailand) and loved it.

  2. They named that thing Thor???

    You know what? I forgot all about the cake until I was on the train. But you know what else, I was so stuffed from your delicious meals that I didn’t even need any cake. I’m glad it turned out OK, though.

    I could have sat on your couch for another week and been perfectly happy just blabbing away. Therapy is just a train ride away, huh? 🙂

  3. Oh, the cake… Beauty of a pic on J’s blog, too. Heaven. I did the quesadillas tonight (MMmmmm) and I’m not going to forget that orange glaze.

    I did forget about the horse cock! *rofl* 😀 I just read this to G and he choked on his food. The dinner conversation was always unique.

    Hug all your beautiful babies for me and tell Scrunchy maybe next time I shall sit a little closer, very still, with Q-tips. Hope the girls feel better soon.

  4. I’m not sure how cool this makes me. It makes me perverted for sure. The first thing my eyes scanned and saw was “Tom Cruise Loves Horse Cock”.

    The sad thing is I sat here thinking to myself “I FREAKIN KNEW IT!”.

    Katie watch out, there’s a new stallion in town.

    What would it take? Me being more organised with my money so I can make trips within Germany LOL.

    Don’t tell the fiance, but I’ve just secured a new corner here in town so I can start “making money”. winkwink.

    The knitting came in handy. I made my own fishnet stockings!

    ok. just kidding.

  5. The thing is, when you really like something a lot, you just make it happen more often. Well, at least I think that’s how it goes. So I just hope the next time will actually be when I’m in Germany and Christina and I can ride the train together (since she now knows how to get there!). Bravo to one and all for what sounds like an awesome time.

  6. I’ve got to make it there for the next meet up. I can’t be sure y’all will talk about me unless I’m there to start the conversation! Heh!

  7. Sounds like a great time was had by all… and any evening containing conversations about horse cocks & furries is one I’m sad I missed!

  8. Sounds just as wonderful as our girls weekend in NYC! Glad you all had such a terrific time!

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