When renting the latest Stargate Atlantis tonight a young girl asked me to buy her and her girlfriend beer. She said that the video store guy would only sell it to her if they were 14 and they were only 12.
My immediate reaction was “God, no. You are far, far too young to be drinking.”
She just shrugged and walked away. I was shocked that such a young girl was experimenting with alcohol. SHOCKED!
On the way home, I remembered that when I was 12 I took a wine cooler from the fridge and drank it with a girlfriend watching Porky’s Revenge at the local theater. We got some guy to buy us tickets and I spent the whole movie thinking my mother was going to come barreling down the aisle and haul my ass home.
Later in the day I caught myself peeking out the window to spy on my neighbors. Granted there was a big fight between the Turkish importer of Deutsch flags and his helpers, but I was totally hausfrau-ing it by standing to the side of the window and watching for a LONG time.
Then I lectured my sister on not wearing a helmet when she rode a Vespa in a parking lot. Everyone knows that parking lots are the most dangerous place to ride Vespas.
Then I quizzed my brother on why he doesn’t have a girlfriend.
Then I heard the neighbor kids screaming outside and got up to give them a dirty look . There were no kids outside. It was Markus watching Hostel.
I think I’m in desperate need of some Jell-O shots and cigarettes.