One of the many cultural references I have had to teach Sparky was the molester van, how to watch for, avoid and/or listen for muffled cries for help when walking by one. He thinks I’m paranoid and delusional.

My brother sent this to me yesterday and I think illustrates my point, although I maintain that molester vans tend to be white rather than red.


13 thoughts on “Chester…

  1. I still look out for white panel vans, and my heart skips a beat whenever there’s one around. Dude.

  2. This is totally a molester van. No back windows, extended cab (to put more children in of course). Totally.

  3. No, there is something about a bad paint job, rust spots, and pretty much an over all “dirty” aspect to the windowless van, that Scooby and B.A. did not have to there rides.

  4. N: My grandmother pounded the white van molester into my head as a kid. I never go near them.

    IJ: of course. the more kids, the merrier.

    Dixie: didn’t scooby doo have a least a round window?

    DDR: The a-Team gets a free pass.

    Anon/jeff?: yeah, it is the dirtiness factor that pushes it over the edge.

    Anon/jeff: Yeah, i did like it. thanks.

  5. No round window in the Mystery Machine. Else the cops would have been busting Shaggy and Scooby for doing bong hits in the back.

  6. I really DO like this porn styled car. Its elegant shape, its presence. It is just a BEING for itself! If you know a good opportunity to buy such a car, please drop in a note!

  7. I’ve been stopping in, looking at that van, going away. Stopping in, looking at that van, going away. I’m pondering the text but I don’t really get it. It’s supposed to be a joke, I think? Don’t mean to pee all over it but the guy who prowled our neighborhood and molested a little girl when I was a kid, his van was white. The one who yanked his privates out and shook them at me and my sister when I was in the fifth grade, he was driving a white sedan. In my experience the Kentucky Chester’s have an affinity for white.

  8. I’m pretty sure it’s FREE CANDY as in, “want some candy little girl?” but I keep reading it as a protest, like, Free Tibet!

    And molester vans are definitely white.

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