Massana’s New Deal

So this is the new deal.

I’m on my way back up to the surface. I am keeping myself busy and it all started with J gently kicking my ass to come up for air. The following is what is going on in bullet points.

I found out that my recent weight loss has my bod in turmoil. No matter how many talks I have with it, it doesn’t seem to believe we are not at war and we are not being starved hence it has gone on strike, halting production of all hormones. No testosterone, no estrogen. I have nothing, nada, zilch. This is very good news because I can add those things until my body stops striking and it means I’m not crazy. A little estrogen goes a long way, let me tell you. Germany might suck, but it sucks even harder without hormones!

When my doctor was describing this, Sparky thought it might be a good idea if she prescribed testosterone for me along with all the girl stuff. He was very concerned that I not lose muscle mass as he is really hoping I turn into Jay Cutler in one of his homoerotic fantasies. As that is NOT my goal and I’m a girl, I’m sticking with the girl stuff for now. God knows I don’t need anymore chin hair.

The sun has come out in Krautland. Not the humid sticky hotness that makes me want to peel my skin off, but really nice Indian summer sun. Perfect convertible weather. And as I just got my car back from the shop where it sat for months, I can enjoy the sun at 100 mph.

I am NOT taking a German class this year. I’ll wait until spring to stuff cotton balls into my mouth.

I went to my book group and felt smart again. All of the women are German and all of them are so nice and welcomed me with open minds and great senses of humor.

My nosey neighbor finally got up the nerve to ask about my weight loss and I got to say, straight faced, “Cocaine.” I love that! Apparently he didn’t believe me and later asked Sparky.

I am re-committing to blogging as it really does give me an outlet. The WonderTwins have been relentless in their harassment. If i don’t blog more, Jeff won’t let me sleep on his sofa for the entire month of December. Sparky is redesigning the template as we speak and I expect to have a new look in a week, if he can find the time between work travel.

I have spent a lot of time with Von Tauber and her kids. As soon as those hormones are back in shape, I think the vessel might be ready.

Sparky is getting a new computer which means I no longer have to share mine. I don’t need to explain the multitude of benefits to having my own computer back. I mean, really, my e-mail relationship with Robbie has been stalled because Sparky and I share and inbox and any e-mail from Mr. Williams would be immediately noticed or deleted as spam. I can’t let Sparky know that I am the one teaching poor Robbie about real love and how to feel real love and I hear his tour isn’t what it could be because he and I aren’t communicating like we should be and he too blames Sparky. Sparky really needs to get his own machine before the Asia leg is cancelled. It’s for the good of the world.

To the left, under the “Know This” section, I am keeping a list of good things. It might be small now, but I am sure it will grow. Right? This was J’s idea and the more I thought about it, the more I liked it because there are some good things here. Right?

And again, thank you for all your support. It really blew me away. I had no idea. Thank you.


11 thoughts on “Massana’s New Deal

  1. My work here is done. It’s all about the heisse scheisse.

    You know, I really like those shelves now. Spaky is always giving me the gory details of his bathroom experience. I wish we had a shelf with a scale so he could just shout out a weight and I’d know exactly how much/big and spare me the description.

    think about it. a scale in the shelf… a good idea.

  2. I insisted on getting rid of those shelves years ago. Blech.

    SO glad you are doing well and I’ll mail you tomorrow FOR SURE.

  3. A what shelf?? I’m so confused.

    Jen, I’m glad you’re feeling better.

    As to the testosterone, try not to rule it out completely, because you need a little. Not a lot, but a little.

    I’ve missed you.

  4. To quote Stuart Smalley… you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you!!

    Glad to hear you’re back on the blogging circuit!

  5. I just read your “99 things” bit, there is so much on there I would like to comment on but I just don’t know where to start.

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