Meatheads

Give me a break. Are people turning into pansies or it just me?

Read this: No Grunting

I really hate the gym. Really. Truly.

I pay more to go to a gym that isn’t as much of a meat market/musclehead hangout as others in the area. That being said, it’s still a gym and believe it or not, there is gym like behavior.


Sparky is a weight lifter. He squats and bench presses more than any human really should aspire to. When lifting that much weight, a grunt is just going to slip out. Sometimes even a fart. I cringe when I hear Sparky grunt because i know he’s lifting an obscene amount of iron. I look over and make sure someone is spotting him. If not, I run over and make sure he doesn’t drop it on his meathead. But unless he moves that obscene amount of weight, he doesn’t get stronger or more muscley which is his goal. It’s why he goes to the gym.

Next thing you know, they’ll ban sweat. Really, get a life, people.

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9 thoughts on “Meatheads

  1. Yeah, grunting and farting are integral to lifting. I might even go so far as to call them the best part.

    The problem is when you get people like this jack-ass dude at my gym who grunts (really, really loudly) when he does any lift.

    Chest press 50 lbs.? Loud grunt!
    Curl 25 lbs.? Louder grunt!

    Yay.

  2. I go to an all-chick gym so there are candles everywhere, hot stone massages, treadmills that have plug in headphones to listen to Enya. It’s a totally grunt-free zone until I take part in the Pilates class.

    Apparently, trying to lift my leg behind my head is grunt-inducing. But luckily the people at my gym aren’t RIDICULOUS and didn’t kick me out.

    Seriously though, wtf is wrong with people? I mean I understand if some sweaty guy is trying to LEWDLY grunt in my ear when I’m stretching, but that’s nothing a swift kick to the nuts can’t fix. But otherwise…fight the power, grunt in your gym today!!!!

  3. It’s sex and shit.

    People are afraid of both. They’re afraid they’re going to like both, because it makes you feel better to do both, and other people are going to know they like it.

    Stupid prudes.

    Have sex. Shit. Be proud.

    (my personal bumper sticker for today)

  4. nothing to do with your post. just wanted to say hi but i couldnt find a place to do it so here would have to do. 😉

    i came across your blog while looking for expats near darmstadt/frankfurt. (i live in darmstadt. why was i looking for english-speaking expats all of a sudden? ‘cos i needed to sell a car. i dont have a DL but i own a car…it’s a long story. i found some buyers pretty quick (they dont have much cash but at least i would be helping them own their first car so that is good enough reason for me) so hopefully i can wash this car off my hands later today. my husband is happy; as far as he is concerned, the prob is solved when the car is off our hands.)

    just scanned your recent posts when i woke up early this morning. i like the way you write…i cant put my finger down on anything but i have read books from good writers and i know a good writer when i see one. and certain things you said struck a chord with me…i also admire your frankness in talking abt the lows in your life, w/o self-pity and/or being defensive abt it.

    anyway, later, i gotta go…btw, the last email addr (yes, i have many email accts ‘cos it’s easier to battle spam and know where it’s coming from) that i am using is healthinterests@gmail.com. would be good if we can get to know each other via email (i dont feel good abt ‘hijacking’ your blog for introductions..;P)

    cheers!

  5. Grant: Sparky totally agrees with you. Grunting, farting and a reason to look at his body without appearing too narcissistic are in his top four reasons to go to the gym. Muscles are in there someowhere.

    In our gym, there are too many roid heads for skinny guys to feel comfortable in making noise. However, no one there would actually make them feel bad.

    He used to go to a “Power Room” with all sorts of champion power lifters. That place was way, way too testosterone heavy for me. But you know what? If i had a problem, like i needed a car moved or a building scootched a few inches, those guys had my back.

    It was also the place Sparky got to shower with a really, really hot chick with perfect breasts. They only had one shower is what I was told.

    Sparky misses those days.

    Belinda: You crack me up. I’d be grunting through pilates too. And the sound effects during a yoga class, come on. You gotta expect it.

    I’m so jealous. I want a gym like that. I want candles and hot stone massages. Lucky girl!

    Lisa: I think you might a have a winner of a bumper sticker. Right up there with the whirled peas and the bakesale stickers.

    One thing you can say for Germany over America, people are not afraid of pooping here. Or of sex. I hear the East Germans combine the two.

    Sparky would never have gotten to compare Leonie’s perfect left breast to her perfect right breast, noting for my benefit, that those could only exisit in a 22 year old when you considered fullness, heft and lift. Had he been in America, the shower facilities would have been separate.

    nevermind, I missed my connecting train of thought.

    Christina: Don’t you think?

    Anon: Thanks for the really nice comment. I’ll email.

    Hamish: Hysterical. It really is getting ridiculous.

    That’s Ronnie Coleman in the little video thing. Sparky’s other other idol. Ronnie is lifting 800 pounds. See how that bar bounces? Its an iron bar, for godsake. How do you do that without grtunting?

  6. pet peeve alert: muscley is not a word in the English language (even though many people like to use it).

    I’ll get over it, though.

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