Size of the Schwanz

A friend and I were talking and it somehow came up that German men tend to have large… well, large lap rockets in comparison to other men we’ve uh… witnessed.

My experience is not based on one nether rod, however, I have not slept with the entire German population so I really couldn’t make anything more than an anecdotal argument.

We figured it wasn’t just us, right? We weren’t just the lucky two girls of the population to marry Thor and Thunder the Wonder Horses, right? Who else could we ask?

Who else indeed. See, she’s a little more polite and modest than I am, so I’m asking. According to my sources, many readers of this blog have experience with the German whoopee stick. So leave a comment and add your two cents.

**Thank Bloodhound Gang for the vernacular


31 thoughts on “Size of the Schwanz

  1. I’ve seen a lot of Schwanz in my day (only because I was the photographer for a college calendar to raise money for charity, honest) and I must say it’s true. German men are quite gifted in that area.

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  2. Your first entirely new post on this site is a treatise on intercultural comparisons of package size?

    You can take the girl out of SF, but you can’t take SF out of the girl. Too funny!

  3. I’ve slept with two german men (not at the same time though, heh)who were quite average to tell you the truth. I mean…it wasn’t anything to write home about. I wasn’t singing the German national anthem afterwards or anything.

  4. LOL! Seriously, I think you should do cross-cultural studies. Tell Sparky you are earning a PhD in genetic differences leading to differences in penis size or something. OK, be more creative than that. I’m not saying you have to touch them– just observe. Let me know if you need an assistant. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. My darling German may die from embarrassment if he reads this, but.. yes, I would have to say ‘Thor the Wonder Horse’ is an accurate description. So you & your friend are not the only lucky ones!

  6. well.. i never thought, that some womens are going to think in this way, about us (poor german mens)
    even i dont agree with you in this one isabelle. (i know, i just have to accept)

    thanks for compliments, anyway ๐Ÿ™‚


  7. Jen, you should not listen to Michael.. he’s being modest. And he was blushing when he read my comment. Poor German men indeed!

  8. Well, I’m no expert, having only experienced one German “rod,” but I have to say that the wonderfulness of that experience was more head & heart than schwanz-related. “Thor the Wonderhorse,” my American, lives in my house and has shared my American bed for 24 years now…


  9. Now, I have not collected enough data to make a statistically accurate statement, however, the German Schwanz is pretty good. Don’t get me started about international schwanz size . . .

  10. Das ist recht! (2 Germans)

    Is it the french too? (1 french)
    maybe you should take a poll on international schwanz size..that would be interesting…

  11. Wow. There is a lot of Schwanz out there.

    Dixie: Thank you, I’ll add your number.

    Jess: Thanks. I’m using your blog as my inspiration. Simple and pretty.

    Belinda: I was the photographer for a calendar too! That’s my story and I’m sticking too it!

    Sheila: In this case the fault is all my own.Once I get my new Laptop-SPARKY, are you listening- The pictures should be much better. I need to install some new software.

    Ace1: Hausfrau is gone and the SF girl is alive and well in Krautland. I thought the post was rather appropriate celebration.

    Maria: You know, I was looking for a way to use my vast experience in this area. You just gave me the answer! I think an if we use Belinda’s photographic skills for documentation, we’ll def. need an assistant to uh.. assist.

    Katie: My poor girl. There are only so many perks to dating a German and I am very sorry you were not able to appreciate those perks. I’d say give it one more shot. Third times the charm!

    Ian: Thanks. We’ll see if I can maneuver WordPress the way I’d like.

    B: Clearly. I know a ton of single guys who would be happy to let you in on this uh… characteristic? Girlie weekend next year!

    Isabelle: Oh good, we have another documented case.

    Michael: Don’t play coy. Even Sparky says that he sees a ton of Kaiser Schwanz in the gym locker rooms. He says the size is really only comparable to those in locker room at Gold’s Gym in the Castro and we all know gay men take the cake.

    Isabelle: I’ve never known a modest German. Another subject for study.

    Carol: Carol, carol, carol. We’re not even going to go into the heart/head area. Our Germans didn’t convince to move to Europe because of the size of Mr. Droopie. Its just a (big)perk.

    Claire: If we put our heads together, I’m sure we could come up with an interesting paper on international relations. Let me know when you’re back home and we’ll talk!

    Emily: You know it could be the lack of fluoride in the water. Bad teeth, bigger schwanz. I’d agree that this is something worth looking into. If we could bottle that water and market it, it would be like being able to farm truffles.

    Kim: Hmm, the French. Who would have thought? I believe this is something I need to research for myself. We’ll take your data and try to add to it!

    Tinka: REALLY? Again, another area of research. I wonder if you could help me during our Summer Stonia trip? You game?

  12. Sign me up. My husband would die if he knew I was posting this, but you can add him to the well-endowed. He’s not German though… LOL!

  13. Maria, come on. Do we need to go into the cultural relevance of your 12 foot tall basketball playing husband? Your husband LIVES with people assuming that.

  14. The 4 Germans I;ve been with in my time have been beyond endowed! I love my German men! Now, I need to find a replacement. . . .

  15. Jen, if I said yes, Sparky would beat me to death with his monsterous schwanz. So I reluctantly say…we`ll see.

  16. No Kim, I think it must be the water.. because my German is cut (and I know that’s unusual) and it has not affected his size at all! Ok, Jen, a sub-category for further study.

  17. Tatiana: I’ll add your four! Thanks for the input. Replacements are not that hard to find. For every taken german male, i know four that are single regardless of schwanz size.

    Tink: Markus promises not to beat you with his manhood although he says it would make the trip far more interesting.

    Kim: You know, i thought it might be, but then I’ve seen many an uncut and the kraut uncut is a completely different animal, no turtleneck involved.

    Isabelle, a good sub-cat. I’d like to study the characteristics of the uncut.

    Maria: That is a sad, sad thing. Those poor guys that aren’t so lucky having to share a locker room with a stable of Thors.

  18. Chiming in a little late on this, but yes, my reasearch definitely confirms your findings. ๐Ÿ™‚ I wonder if they’ll publish this in some scientific journal?

  19. That’s a roger Jen.

    Next question: are the men “show-ers” or “grow-ers”?

  20. Is it too late to leave a reply , I hope not ? I have not had the pleasure of the German man, yet !! I am however, in the communication and courtship stages with a 1/2 German ,1/2 Irish man , here in the USA ,who is tall 6″ 2, dark hair , hazel eyes, dreamy but quite manly “big hands, feet, …here’s the kicker, we have never met in person but i am relocating to his state with my work. We met online ๐Ÿ™‚ and this is my first OLD experience as well…. so I googled , are German men endowed? I found this very informative forum which has put a huge smile on my face… you see, he hasn’t come out and said it , but I am getting little some solicited “cues” from him, lol …. I’ll let you know in a few weeks ladies & Michael! It’s been a joy reading your thoughts , Jacqueline

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