Snacks and Sacs and Spoons

Via Google Chat:

jen: are you actually working?

Henry Hassenbacher: yeah, what bs

jen: I just had to clean my cat’s ass and his anal sacs sprayed all over my t-shirt.
Dis. Gust.Ing.

Henry Hassenbacher: ahhh
yeah

jen: I don’t know how to get that type of stain out. Is it fat? Is it protein?

Henry Hassenbacher: Ask C.

jen: good idea! but anal sac secretions aren’t poop

Henry Hassenbacher: are you extremely fond of the t shirt?

jen: Kinda. I’m on my third t shirt today.
1 went down with coffee. 1 with anal sac

Henry Hassenbacher: not bad for 10:30 am

jen: dude, I just made myself sick on liverwurst
what a morning
liverwurst and anal sacs
and coffee. Yum
I want to make out with someone right now

jen: did i tell you my brother got me a roomba

Henry Hassenbacher: yeah thats a really great gift
i need one

jen: so, the door bell just rang and it was dhl
Henry Hassenbacher: well not anymore since i dont have an apt

jen: I was so excited
I was like, wow, jeff got on the ball
He was down with Steve this week and Steve must have motivated Jeff to go to the post office
and I get my roomba
it wasn’t the roomba
it was a long package addressed to Sparky
which is meaningless because I open every package that comes into the house
and as I was opening it, I thought about a bomb and what if Sparky has a mistress who wants to off us and I open the package an it explodes
but that didn’t stop me
you know what it was?
a three foot long wooden spoon

Henry Hassenbacher: hahaha

jen: wtf

Henry Hassenbacher: wtf

jen: i have no idea why we got a three foot long wooden spoon

Henry Hassenbacher: hahah
thats pretty funny

jen: I know

Henry Hassenbacher: see, this day keeps getting better for you

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “Snacks and Sacs and Spoons

  1. i simply have no words for this.
    i would just like to inform you that i am currently on my lunch break and had just taken a bite from my sandwich when the anal sac- / liverwurst-thing came on. *gag* thankyouverymuch. gotta go.

  2. jen,
    I have some ideas about the use of a 3 foot wooden spoon that don’t involve either food prep or decorative purposes. A waste is a terrible thing to mind…

  3. I just wanted to let you know I f-ing love your blog. I think maybe we are distantly related in another cosmos or something – seriously, I linked to it through another expat blog and read it almost every day. It usually makes me laugh my ass off or cry. I nannied for some kids in college/law school who’s dad came to the US from Germany (their mom was American and met him while studying abroad!) and it’s great to hear the “other side of the story.”

  4. My suggestion is that you use the three foot wooden spoon the next time you’re working on your cat’s ass. Would save you some t-shirts.

  5. Okay, first, lets not ever post anything with anal and secretion in the same sentance on this blog again, B, I need to know what address to send the roomba to, Karen also needs one now by the way. And Nextly, yes we need to talk about the death run of holidays and birthdays coming up, i will call you tomarrow.

  6. Um, congratulations? The anal sack stuff is the same that male cats use for spray-marking their territory? Good luck with trying to get that stench out of there.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s