A Conversation He Wished He’d Never Started

INT. Home Office – MID MORNING

In the red room, suitcase open and in a disarray. Three pairs of womens shoes sit on the side. Jen is packing and sorting, trying to fit clothes for two people for two days and a rigged laptop into a very small carry on. Frustration seeps from her pores as she pulls everything out and starts over. The shoes seem to be the sticking point. Sparky walks in carefree and curious.

Sparky: Why do you need three pairs of shoes for two days?

Jen: Well, I need the cute pink ones because they’re semi-comfortable and go with everything. A nice stacked, strappy heel, a cute round toe says “attractive, competent, won’t die when walking on cobble stones”

I want the black pointy heels because they’re hella sexy and go fantastically with the jeans, but I tend to fall in them. I wear them when I know I’ll be sitting a lot or if walking on carpet, perfect for office wear.

If I’m going anywhere other than the office, I can use the pink ones. Like if we go out to dinner or something where I might have to walk a bit, but they have a 2 kilometer range. Anything more than that and I get blisters on my toes so I’m bringing the flats just in case we go into the city or something. But the flats aren’t cute enough to wear to the office and are just a little too big since I lost weight so they’re limited in where I want to wear them. And they’re snake skin so if it rains, I have to go with the pink ones.

Sparky: (Interjecting) Snake skin isn’t water proof?

Jen: Maybe before it became a shoe, but not now and plus, the cow hide sole is totally not waterproof.
As I was saying this doesn’t even cover airport shoes. I’m making due with the pink ones for the airport, but since we are walking all over different terminals, I have to be careful so I don’t blister my toes which would ruin all my shoe plans for the next two days. And don’t even suggest it. I vowed never to wear my flat mary janes again since my soccor mom outfit. I’m too old to look little girlish no matter how much I love them and more to the point, they don’t go with either outfit.

You know, I’m really glad you brought this up.  I need to go shoe shopping. I really need to find a good, stylish traveling shoe. I think we should do that in Hamburg. I need something I can wear on the plane and off. That way I wouldn’t need to bring so many, I could cut out at least one pair. Good shoes make me feel confident. And with everything that is going on, don’t you want me to feel confident? After that butcher chopped off all my hair and left me with this mullet-cum-rat tail cut, I need fabu shoes to offset bad hair.

Sparky: Arg. (throws up his hands and walks away)

End scene


I don’t think EcamirG has anything to worry about.


7 thoughts on “A Conversation He Wished He’d Never Started

  1. but hey, the explanation totally makes sense. have fun shoe-shopping. with the upcoming more frequent travel-time you TOTALLY need new travel-shoes. DUH! men…

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