Stevie Nicks Clause

Dear Traffic Amt of _____, Hessen,

My name is Jennifer _____ and yesterday I was flashed by one of your numerous cameras.  I would like to take this opportunity to talk to you about it.

See, I’m a really good driver. I try to use my ability to drive for the good of mankind.  And yes, my sidekick, Gracie, is a gas guzzler, but really, superheroes need their signature ride and frankly she’s in the shop more often than not due to a quirky electrical issue.  I feel the time spent in the shop makes up for the time spent on the road, but I digress. 

Yesterday was a beautiful morning.  Well, beautiful by German standards.  It was cloudy, but not raining.  The streets and autobahns were dry as a bone.  Gracie prefers to run at about 140.  I try to reign her in a bit, but you know how wild horses can be.  So there we are, just driving and there is not a soul in sight for kilometres and we’re on a straight as that bone dry road.   No in-the-fucking-way-Opel, no the-left-lane-is-a-good-idea-Semi-truck, no nothin’.  The radio was on and kind of loud.  You know, the loud that can only be achieved when you are alone in the car.  The loud that allows you to sing along with every song and not hear how bad you voice is.   It was a great moment.  Well, that is until “The Edge of Seventeen” came on the radio. Then  it just happened.  Gracie could no more help herself from punching it to 180 than I could from playing the air drums on the steering wheel and singing along.  The spirit of the moment took over.  We had no control over the speed.  When that song comes on, one is obligated by supernatural forces of the Welch Witch herself to drive faster.

So, given the circumstance, I think you can understand that we really had no choice to be going so fast.  I know the speed limit was 130ish, but really, those rules simply cannot apply when Stevie Nicks is on the radio, right?  I know in this fine, bureaucracy loving country, there must be the Stevie Nicks clause.    I mean she’s not  Scorpions, I know, but there has to be some sort of Stevie Nicks loop hole.

I would be happy to discuss this further.  If, for some reason you would like to enact said moment, please let me know.  Gracie and I would be delighted… barring all future flashes, of course.


Jennifer __________




10 thoughts on “Stevie Nicks Clause

  1. I hope the Verkehrsamt got some nice pix of you keening at the top of your lungs that you can post here. Do it and we will all chip in to help you with the fine. And as a bonus you might get one of those sparkly Flensburg Points! Lucky you!
    (Verkehrsamt. Now there is a nice double entendre hiding there somewhere)

  2. Hey! If that works, let me know!!! I have an issue with the local parking authorities too, but apparently we won’t be worrying about them this year.

  3. Stevie is the Queen…so doesn’t she overrule any issuance of citations. :shrug:

  4. I’m not sure there needs to be a Stevie Nicks clause, but their should be an Edge Of Seventeen Clause.

  5. Speaking as someone who posted her speeding ticket (lousy photo & all), I say embrace the fine, post the ticket, and we’ll start some sort of ‘girls gone wild on the autobahn’ website.

    p.s. seriously, what’s up with all the scorpions love around here? Every third opel I see has either a scorpions or depeche mode bumper sticker. I know they’re german & all (well, the scorpions anyway), but surely better deutsch singers/bands have hit the big time, right? right? Hmmm…

  6. Hilarious… love it!
    Probably won’t get very far with the V*amt, but a really nice try… btw, try the A7 stretch going south right after you pass the A6/A7 interchange….

  7. Not that this has anything to do anything. But, I heard a comic once say ‘To sound like Stevie Nicks you just have to put a clothes pin on your nose and hold a vibrator to your throat.’

    Cracked me up. . . .

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