So, it turns out Sparky missed out on a big part of what I consider teenage angst. Other than the angst part. (Sparky was a pretty happy kid, teen and adult. It could have been better if he had gotten laid at 13, but barring the opposite sex thing, he was oddly happy.)
He totally bypassed Pink Floyd.
I, on the other hand, spent years blasting The Wall, The Final Cut, Animals etc… through the speakers of any music playing aparatus I could find. Sixteen through the summer I turned 18 was spent in period of “Not Now John” (my step-dad’s name, coincidentally, is John) and “Comfortably Numb”. Add V.C. Andrews and a little cutting and you have a good idea of what I was like as a teen. Dramatic and tortured.
What was he doing when he should have been listening to tortured soul music? He was playing Dungeons and Dragons and wondering why girls were interested in older guys when he was more than ready to attempt pro-creation. He was making art projects out of moldy milk cartons and writing disturbing poetry. And picking flowers and thinking that the world was a beautiful place. He was running through fields with his mullet flowing in the wind.
Back to Floyd.
The Wall is not background music. You have to sit there and experience the music and the lyrics as they were intended. Sparky isn’t a big lyrics guy. He doesn’t really care about them, just the melody. So why he bought Pink Floyd is beyond me.
My first response to The Wall being ordered was “Oh God. NO. I can’t hear that again.” Sparky, however, never having the benefit of Pink Floyd’s particular brand of agony, insisted.
At this moment, the second disc is playing and he’s researching new Apple products. He totally missed the first disc. I’ve tried to explain what’s happening, what Pink is experiencing and how the songs take you on a journey and he’s like ” Uh, yeah, cool. Did you know the new Ipod touch had 22 hours of listening battery life.”
WTF? Did you miss the whole Goodbye Blue Sky thing? Look Mummy, there’s an Airplane up in the sky. Did you catch that? I use that phrase all the time.
Yep, he missed it. Nope he didn’t catch it.
He has now moved on to Muscular Development with “Comfortably Numb” on in the background. I got a “Sehr Geil.”
Dude, this is what happens when you have a happy childhood.
The evidence before the court is
Incontrivertable, there’s no need for
The jury to retire.
In all my years of judging
I have never heard before
Of someone more deserving
Of the full penaltie of law.
The way you made them suffer,
Your exquisite wife and mother,
Fills me with the urge to defecate!