High Heels and Matching Bags

Okay, let’s have a little girl talk.

I currently have two types of high heels. Those I wear “Out” and those I wear “In”. “In” have a higher heel as I am only required to walk from the closet to the bed.Β  I can walk as slow sexy as I want. And now that I’m 20 pounds from my goal weight, I no longer look like a flustered hen and I have more fun in them.

“Out” or everyday heels are more of the 2-3 inch variety because I value unbroken ankles.

So let’s talk about the everyday heel.

I don’t know how to purchase heels that fit so I can actually walk in them. All the pairs I’ve bought in the last year are too big and fall off my biological heels as if I’m walking in my mom’s shoes. Then, as the shoes fall off, I scuffle to keep from losing them completely. Add my concentration not to fall and I’m just a mess. I might as well just wear flats and forget the whole thing because if you cannot walk confidently in heels its over.

When I bought the shoes, they fit, I think. I tried different sizes and bought the size that felt right, but maybe that’s the problem. Should they be too small when I buy them? I also have narrow heels (the body part), so could that be the problem?

My question is, How do you fit a heel? Do you get a half size smaller to anticipate slippage? Is there a trick? Is there a secret? Did I miss that day in girl school?

Next item. Under eye bags.

Over the weekend, I bought some Preparation H. Stress and little sleep have prompted steamer trunk-like bags under my eyes and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read the Prep H trick in Cosmo or other glamour magazines.

Tat didn’t believe me. She just laughed the entire time thinking my explanation a cover for some other deep burning desire. I swore up and down and all over town that as a photographer she, of all people, should know this trick. I willingly took the jokes about ass pain and perhaps more appropriate places to apply said cream all night long because I KNEW IT WOULD WORK, damn them.

It didn’t work. I ended up with shinny, oily looking bags and a little redness from the mineral oil.

So, Cosmo lies. And I was just going to try the “Keep Him Guessing in Bed” and “How to Give a Good Blow Job” thing. What am I going to do now?

And, to make matters worse, I’m having lasik surgery done in SF when I’m home so I never have to wear my 3″ thick glasses again. I have to figure out this bag thing before I no longer hide behind lenses.

Advice, please. I have 22 days before America, Land of the High Heel, and a credit cards to burn. I want tried and true words of wisdom. What works for you?



20 thoughts on “High Heels and Matching Bags

  1. You have been blessed with dainty feet, I guess. There are these stick-on pad type of things that go in the back of the shoe and grip the heel so your foot doesn’t slip out. I used to use those in the distant past when I actually had a reason to wear a pair of heels (outside).

    As for Prep H – I’ve been hearing that for *years* but never had the courage to try it despite having some heavy duty under-eye bags. I find anything I smear around my eyes tends to make them puffier so people will just have to love me the way I am. πŸ™‚

  2. i won one pair of semi-high heels and only wear those to weddings (for the first five hours anyway before i get out the flats again) so i don’t think i can be of much help here. if you need to know how to buy sneakers that fit well, i’m your woman though πŸ˜‰

    and OMG i can’t wait to hear all about your lasik experiences. i wish i could afford that. but hey, i will buy new (-4,5 on the right) glasses in the US so i should be happy, right? πŸ™‚

    11 days before america for me. weheee!

  3. The only thing I know that would possibly help with the heel situation is a gel insert made by Dr. Scholl’s.. you’ll probably have better luck finding them in the US.. I have 2 or 3 pair, so I haven’t looked for them here.

    As for the eyes, I have used Prep H and it worked for me, but the simplest remedy is sliced cucumber or slightly warm used tea bags, placed on the eyes for 15-20 mins.

  4. Jen’s feet are anything but dainty. She’s shorter than I am but has bigger feet (she ends up in the double digits of shoe size sometimes) But we love her despite her hobit feet and pygme toes.

  5. Wait a minute! You’re going to be in America and you didn’t let me know!?


    Incidentally, I’ve heard the Prep H thing millions of times too. But never had the nerve to try it. Don’t you still have those million dollar cucumber things?

    And, Mim is totally on the money.

  6. Isabelle has it on the eyes– cucumber or tea bags.

    For the shoes, if mine stretch and get a little big, I put inserts in– the cheap(er) ones you buy at US drug stores/Target/etc. They take up the extra room nicely and feel nice when you wear the shoes for hours on end, and I wear TALL heels for hours on end whenever I am with Kevin. LOL!

    We miss you! HUGS!

  7. Honey, the 1st thing we’re doing together when you get here (besides dishing of course) is this: we’re going to see the oh-soooo-helpful queens @ the Kiehl’s counter — BAGS BE GONE; YOU DON’T BELONG HERE! Then we can shop for the much more desired type of matching bags.


  8. Oh, & while we’re @ it, we’ll ask the queens in the shoe dept. about the best remedies for shoe slippage/throwing a shoe. Won’t it be nice to be back, not just in the States, but in SF where the queens are as helpful as they are knowledgeable?

  9. Oooooh! I just love girlie talk! And Guurrrl, we NEED to talk. BTW, speaking of girlie talk, Malcolm wore a silvery plastic tiara w/ pink marabou (faux?) to school today. He wanted to wear it on the 1st day, but we managed to put it off for two months. We’ll talk… girl-ish-ly… SOON.

    MORE Kisses!

  10. About the Prep H thing. This is surely one of those rumors that won’t die but I’d also heard that there was an additive in the prescription that’s only available in Canada. (Even as I type it I can heard myself say “Yeah, right”.) Well, my flight attendant sister-in-law picked us up a few tubes in Montreal and she felt it did something. I couldn’t get past the greasiness and stopped after one go.

    Rest and cucumbers? Or if the bags are really big, cabbage leaves? πŸ˜‰

  11. I think the Preperation H is supposed to help with puffy eyes, not bags/dark circles. Never tried using it for either however! :o)

  12. who needs Cosmo? — I’m sure you keep him guessing & at the risk of ick-ing out your brother & sister when they read this, I’m also certain you give a great BJ. And no, Sparky, I don’t know from first-hand (or ahem, first-mouth) experience with your wife — a good GBF just knows these things!

  13. dude, you guys rock. i’ll respond more tomorrow. I’m wiped out from staying up until 6 am tlking to tat about everything from pop culture and Existentialism to kegels and gag reflexes. i can barely move.

    Jami and Miranda. My feet are very dainty, thank you and i wouldn’t talk Mim. My feet aren’t nearly as hairy as yours and my toes even have toenails.

    GBF: you are so on. i just sent you an e-mail.

    the rest tomorrow. thank you soo much. my bags and i really appreiate it. and my feet too.

  14. GBF,

    You have my full trust with my wife. In fact, I think you guys should hang out a lot when seh comes over SO SOON. Lots of love from Germany,

    – The Kraut

  15. High heels–was sind die? πŸ™‚
    Seriously, I have no arches, sensitive heels that blister at a touch and as a result just about all I wear are my high top Reebok Freestyles. Fashionable, I’m not!

    Until Crocs came along that is. Right now I am at work wearing bright pink Crocs, just like half the little girls that come in here. My boss (whose humor is pretty heavy handed tells me he hates them, that they remind him of Bozo the Clown (that’s my red pair) and that he’s going to propose they be added to the things verboten by our dress code.
    (I told him “oh goody, another rule I’ll get to break!” At which he just rolled his eyes and said “children’s librarians!”)

    They’re not exactly sexy shoes though. So buy a pair of lovely wicked high heels in honor of me and all the other poor schlubs out here with problem feet!

  16. I’ve got to second (or third, whatever) the inserts advice. Back when I wore huge heels they were the best. I used the gel ones that go under the front half of the foot, whatever the heck that’s called. But with a narrow heel, those heel gripper pads might work better.

    I can’t offer any eye bag advice. I’ve been genetically blessed in that department. But I had heard about that Prep H thing. I think it was for puffy eyes as well, rather than dark circles, since it’s for reducing swelling (wherever you choose to apply it).

    Have fun in the States. I’m going in a month and a half and I can’t wait. I’m so excited!!! We’re travelling there with empty suitcases and I plan to take full advantage of the exchange rate being in our favor (or as I call it, America’s Clearance Sale). Oh yeah, my mom will get to meet Oliver for the first time too, that’ll be cool. πŸ˜‰

  17. Wish I could help you here, but I would kill myself in a pair of heels. I’ve learned to just say no. I am, however, completely in awe of your being 20 pounds from your goal weight! I wish I could say the same. I’ve been stuck losing & gaining the same 5 pounds for so long now, that I’m about ready to throw in the towel and concentrate all my efforts on convincing myself size 42 is sexy.

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