Last night’s fortune cookie. I kid you not.
- Senseless regulations can make you angry.
- Submitting to someone else’s sense of authority makes you itch violently
- Walking in high heels on cobblestones is a talent you will never have.
and I would swear they were written just for me. I usually use the GBitS as my fortune teller of choice, but those cookies are gettin’ good.
Jet leg and work have kicked my ass for the last week and a half. I was up in Hamburg last week. Yeah, like hours after we got home.
I didn’t sleep for more than 2-3 hours a night until last Sunday. Then I’d get out of bed and work for 12-16 hours.
It’s not that I didn’t try. Nothing worked. I literally stayed up -no naps, no dozing- for more than 48 hours hoping to break Insomnia, but she is a stronger bitch than I.
I tried sleeping pills and warm milk. No effect. I moved on to beer and wine. Nope, didn’t work. Then I went for the Judy Garland – vodka and sleeping pills. No noticeable difference. I was wide awake with Anxiety keeping Insomnia company in my brain as I tossed and turned.
So Saturday night, Tat offered to help me beat both Insomnia and Anxiety with dinner, drinks, and girl talk deep into the night. We left around 2 am and Sparky drove.
I think it was when I told Sparky that I was seeing people on the side of the road and that I was warning him just in case it was a premonition because there were soo many people walking on the side of those dark roads that he started to worry.
(I just want to say that it could have actually been a premonition and not sleep deprivation induced psychosis and by mentioning it, I prevented a serious accident but because I prevented said accident, I can’t prove it was a premonition.)
Having had auditory hallucinations once, long, long ago in a drug den far, far away, I knew I needed a teensy bit of sleep or the commander was going to come back and make me cut paper into perfect squares for no reason other than I needed perfectly cut square paper. My mind is not a fun place to reside.
I have a serious employment negotiation going on with long term ramifications. I have a ton of work and people depending on me. I have a household to run, dentist appointments to avoid, doctors to see, dry cleaning to pick up. I made pages and pages of to do items that just got longer the more I did. How does that happen? Do lost socks become items on To Do lists?
So I dropped all the balls and got some sleep. There is a bit of fall out, but nothing disastrous. Funny. Dropping all those balls seemed so dangerous, so catastrophic, but when I did, the world did not come to a screeching halt. Does this mean the world does not revolve around me? The horror.
I spent all day Sunday in bed with Catherine Coulter and dozed on and off. Finally… Finally… I broke the cycle. Cat napping with actual cats and no human in sight did the trick. No sharing the bed. No slight noise or bed shift to wake me up. And when I did wake? I fell right back into the Wizard’s Daughter and then into sleep again.
I’m no longer seeing people, but I keep hearing them. They say I need another day, this time with Julie Garwood.
Procrastination, my friend. It’s so nice to see you.