GBF aka Shaun Unveiled

Talking about my mom at lunch one day…

Me: My mom loved fairies.
GBF: Well, then she would have loved me!

*********

Wearing my new wide legged, cropped pants…

Me: Do I look like a fat girl trying to be stylish?
GBF: No Sweetie, you look like a stylish fat girl.

*********

GBF: Well, look who’s calling the pot a kitchen implement of colour!

*********

GBF: If the pump fits and the handbag matches…

*********

Telephone Marketer: Hello, may I speak to the lady of the house?
GBF: Honey, I’m as close as you’re ever gonna get.

**********

I met Shaun five days after my mom died, the first day of the new me and the first day of my new life.

It started off like every other day of my life with spilled coffee and a jacket with sun faded stripes that I hadn’t noticed before the coffee spill. Right after meeting my new supervisor, I met Shaun, wide smile and mischievous intelligence in his gorgeous eyes.

I was so not fashionable, hiding my girth in large flower print blouses and long black mumus that were the only options for women over a certain size. (I still don’t understand that. Why large prints? As if being fat is not punishment enough.) Just coming out of a long period of depression and self-imposed isolation, I was not at my best. But Shaun was that person. You know, that one person who sees through the crap and makes a difference that you cannot imagine, mired in that tarpit of depression.

All I can say is Shaun saw through the glum, picked my ass up and gave me strength and confidence to move on up, Jeffersons style.

He introduced me to non-mainstream pop culture, real friendship and self-esteem. Not to mention music, books, movies and food I would never been exposed to if not for him. You cannot blame him for my penchant for celebrity gossip, although you can blame him for my unique brand of cattiness.

He also introduced me to truffles and cashmere, the bastard. My life bank account has never been the same since.

He is the essence of loyalty and royalty. We share the same sun sign and as Leos, we rule in harmony rather than cutting each other down.

He walked by my side into Neiman Marcus’ even though my hose had a huge run and my lipstick made my teeth look yellow. Later he helped me pick out a much better colour.

He drove my ass up to yoga and laughed with me when I almost smothered myself with my more than ample bosom.

He picked my hung-over ass up in his big 4 wheel drive truck, wearing his Golden Gate Wrestling t-shirt and drove around searching for the house where I had left my favourite sweater earlier that morning during a particularly shameful walk of shame. (It was a key element to my wardrobe, okay!) He was prepared to go up to the house and retrieve said sweater, had I been able to find the house. That is the kind of friend Shaun is. I think he was also a bit curious to meet the men of that house, but that is a different story, for a very different sort of blog. (A blog my father doesn’t read, perhaps.)

He offered his laundry room when I was poor and didn’t have one quarter, let alone six for a single load. He gave me his house when he was out of town and encouraged me to invite people over which I did many, many times.

When he brown-bagged lunch, he’d bring me one too. You know the typical brown bag lunch… Coq au Vin, Tahitian Sea Bass in parchment paper. Things as ordinary as that. I mean, it was only slightly better than the Taco Bell down the street so I did him the favour of not turning it down. EVER!

I, on the other hand, lent him my clothes for drag night, walked his dogs and laughed at all his jokes.

Shaun is my more than my gay boyfriend. He is a lifeline. We might not talk for a couple of months, but it never matters. We pick up where we left off as if time were imposed construct.

And now he is blogging.

Enjoy his writing. He is better than I am, by far and he never, ever makes a spelling error. I cannot even tell you how many e-mails he would return to me all tarted up in red, instructing me on spelling and grammar. He’s ruthless.

He’s new to this blogging world, but we are better for it. Go give him some time and a bit of encouragement although I have to say, a little goes a long way with him. God only knows what we’re getting into!

*************

Here are the links to some posts that include GBF.

Original Gay Boyfriend Post, 2005

Dinner at Whit’s End (the name of his estate) , 2006

Brussel Sprouts , 2006

It’s practically FREE!

Kegels

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2 thoughts on “GBF aka Shaun Unveiled

  1. Hmmm. Since I’m on wordpress now, my comments show from dewey65 instead of gbf.

    Anyway, you are FAR too kind. And you’ve built me up so much I fear I will disappoint. You have become a far better spinner of on-line yarns than I. I can only hope to get near your level, with a lot of practice, by, say maybe 2010 (if it’s even at all possible). Oh and I haven’t figured out spellcheck yet on wordpress, so don’t hold me to the level of perfection you’ve touted. I’ve already found myself re-editing AFTER posting — hopefully that’s not too frowned upon in the blogosphere.

    Yes, I make killer Coq au Vin, but fish in parchment & most of the other yummy exotica was from Dan.

    You declined to mention that Golden Gate Wrestling is a GAY wrestling team (although maybe that was understood by your readers). Thanks for reminding me — now I have another story for my blog (the North-Carolina-Hampton-Inn-elevator story). I’ll have to take a pic of moi in the shirt.

    And remember, if we had found the house & some guy answered the door, I was going to say, “my WIFE left her sweater here last night…”

    Your The Best! (and I don’t mean that in the sarcastic way that we used to say it to people who gave poor customer service, etc…).

    I LOVE YOU! KISSES!

    -GBF

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