This is a thoroughly boring post.  It’s mostly to vent without having to bombard Sparky.  He tries to respond, but when I’m on a roll like this, he doesn’t stand a chance.  Mostly he gives me more ammunition.  He’s at the orthodontist right now and quite frankly, he is much happier there,having his teeth pushed and pulled than being here with me.  Just skip this post.  Really.

So I’m on this, i dunno how to describe it… mission? to get all the household crap done and out of the way.  We’ve lived here five years now and there is a ton of stuff that needed to be finished 4.5 years ago that never got addressed.  Let me re-phrase that.  Sparky has had a honey-do list for 4.5 years, i just got tired of reminding him.

Now, five years later, there is that list plus all the maintenance crap that needs to be done.  I’ve made my master list, my wish list if you will, of all the projects I want completed right now.  I do mean RIGHT NOW. Within that list I have a realistic list of what can actually, realistically get done.

For example, i need the kitchen cabinets repaired.  I’ve been waiting over a year.  I will wait no longer.  On the other hand, i want the laundry room outfitted with lockable cabinets in preparation for I don’t know, A BABY, perhaps.  I want that room baby proofed.  this is not likely to happen because of budgetary reasons.  However, i need to put this on the master list and attempt to get it done in order for things like the kitchen cabinets to get a priority.

The realistic list is not noted anywhere except in my brain because I have found that if Sparky gets a hold of a list, he’ll whittle it down and if he whittles anything it will not be my realistic list.   Have I lost you?

Anyway, one of the items was to have the grout in the bathroom repaired and the silicon around the shower repaired.  What was that?  Grout and silicon?  Two different substances?  Oh yeah, because we have a marble floor and a glass shower.  The marble floor requires grout.  Grout that matches the other grout.

Now I may know more about household maintenance than Sparky, but I shouldn’t know more about it than the stone guy who came to fix it.

My very, very VERY expensive cream colored marble bathroom looks like it got hit with a discount silicon gun.  Rather than using grout on the marble, he used silicon.  Rather than scraping the old grout out, he applied a large amount of silicon to hide the old grout ALL OVER the entire bathroom.

I am sick over this.  Positively sick.

Herr Silicon Fingers said he would come back and fix it.  He’ll call today to make that appointment, but you know what?  It doesn’t make me feel at all better.  I’m not sure he can fix it.  If he didn’t use a special, specific for marble silicon, it will have etched the stone.  All I can do is wait and see.

He knows the correct way.  He knew what he was doing.  He does this all the freakin’ time.  He just wanted to get in and get out.

And you know what?  I hate that I don’t speak German well enough to make my wants and needs clear.  I’m mad at him, but I’m furious with myself.  No, actually, I’m furious with him.   I’m furious with all the craft people who come in my gorgeous clean house and attempt to destroy it with sub par service and then charge me an outrageous amount to come back out and fix their fuck-ups.

And you know what else?  I’m pissed that my Audi R8 driving neighbor parks said R8 diagonally using three parking spaces when 1. there is a parking shortage and 2. he has his OWN TWO CAR GARAGE.  WTF man?  I might be too old and too mature to key that car, but I’ve thought about it with wild eyes and an itchy, itchy finger.

I’m pissed that I have yet to be paid from a previous client and I’m actually going to have to sue.  Called the lawyer today.

I’m pissed that every time I go to sleep I stare up at ceiling lights that were installed incorrectly and that the only way to fix it is to open the ceiling and redo the whole thing.

I’m pissed that my hardwood floors were waxed rather than sealed to make repair easier, yet the floor people repair it is so badly that we have been advised by neighbors to live with the problems, yet the machine everyone uses to re-wax the floors leaves them dull.

I’m pissed that my TV goes on and off by itself all the time.  I’m pissed that my brand new external hard drive had a “mechanical malfunction” and I lost my entire iTunes library plus all my Barcelona pictures.  I’m pissed that my iPod is corrupted and has to be sent in.  I’m pissed that every single electrical item I touch some how fizzles, pops and goes kaput.

I’m pissed that I can’t take a bath in our bathtub because now that I’ve lost weight, I slip to the center.  I’m pissed that I never sat in the bathtub before we purchased it, but then again, the 200 pounds I’ve lost did make a difference.

I’m pissed that we have marble with chalky water.

I’m pissed that I can’t have a cigarette or rather that “I don’t want a cigarette because I want to be healthy”.  Fuck that, man.  I’m pissed that I can’t even allow myself one because I’m in the middle of my anger-inducing hormone cycle and I don’t want to chance it.  These injections are like tequila to my system. They make me want to fuck or fight and you never know which it’s going to be until the jar of peanut butter is flying towards your head.  Sparky has learned to duck fast.

I’m going to go eat chocolate.


7 thoughts on “Grout

  1. Fuck or fight… why or? Seems like you could fuck and fight at the same time. Rough sex is sure to produce a baby, right? 😉

  2. You know, Sparky might want to take note of that. Usually he’s trying to flee and hide from whatever I’m throwing at him. You’ve made a very good point!

  3. Ouch. I’m sorry. I hd to have the ceiling in my new kitchen in NY cut open and re-done for that reason. I couldn’t live with it. And I had to get a different contractor and use a lawyer with the first. And send a marble top back ( but if yours is damaged -floor- that’s way worse). And make cable come back and re-run the cables with white wires(like the walls)not black and not straight up my siding.
    Whoever told you to wax not finish wood was an ass. It really makes no difference to repair (and my husband laid our last wood floor) and wax looks like crap.
    I’m sorry! The older I get, the more aggressive I get- and now my poor husband does a lot of it for me. But I would rather get rid of a lazy and incompetent craftsperson than live with the result.

  4. poor baby. I’m sorry you have to deal with this again. I wish for once some one honest and/or competent would do your house work. I love you. so sorry once again.

  5. damn, you’re pretty pissed, hm? maybe you should use all that energy to send me some workout-cds so i can loose 200 lbs myself…

    OR come to bremen so we can finally have a coffee and i might even let you throw something at me 🙂

  6. P.S Jen, please tell sparky i say “bwahaha” (because spain won the eurocup against germany)

  7. Mim, you’d be hard pressed to find a German who cares less.
    Oh, I shook Gail Halvorsen’s hand that day. Wikipedia him. Stupendous!

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