So, its hotter than… what? Hell? Texas? A Michigan summer? I don’t know, it’s just really freakin’ hot.
I just tried to pour myself some refreshing crystal light. Let’s just say it’s heavy on the crystal. Everything in the fridge is frozen. Everything.
Why? Because of a little thing called marriage.
Sparky and I have vastly different ideas on how cold a refrigerator is supposed to be kept. For me it’s more about how cold food should be kept and for him, well, its just not how his mother does it eco-friendly.
I have had food poisoning on several occasions, one of which required me to take a bus home from work and walking past a Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles (there was one in Oakland for a while). While delish as hangover food, it is very bad for food poisoning. This made quite an impression. I keep my food very cold.
Sparky on the other hand, has a stomach of steel or asbestos or something completely impervious to illness. He doesn’t care. He leaves meat out in the sun for two days then eats it. He might belch after, but frankly, he says, the maggots added a certain flair.
I noticed the other day the fridge was having a problem keeping things cool. I did what anyone would do, I turned it up, meaning cooler. What I didn’t know was to be more like his mother eco-friendly, Sparky had turned it down, meaning he made it warmer.
It took a few days, but now I have frozen veggies… in my fridge. I have frozen mayo. I have frozen salad and milk and lunch meat. My jam is frozen. So is the yogurt. The Cheddar cheese and Monterrey jack? Yep, frozen. My bell peppers could function as bells. The romanesco that I snatched from an old lady’s hand at 7 am at the weekend market is frozen.
I don’t know, is all that food still good? How’s that for eco-friendly, Sparks. I’m going to have to replace all those bottles that cracked because you’re on crack and can’t leave well enough alone.
Next topic: Lights – Sparky was raised as a mole child. I was allowed to see my food when I ate. Conflict ensues.