A Legal Alien

As opposed to being an illegal alien.

I’ve been Sparky’s illegal bride since July when my visa ran out.  Truthfully, I had forgotten all about it until I received written notice to get my ass and two dozen pieces of obscure paperwork down to the Amt.

As we are not drug smugglers and I’m not here working as an illegal prostitute nor am I here for nefarious purposes, it should have been just a matter of collecting the paperwork and finding the time to deal with German bureaucracy.

Seriously, we’re legit.

Except for one little thing.  I never took my German Integration course.  And they wanted proof that I had actually completed it. And I don’t want to complete it.  I don’t even want to start it.

I’m integrated.  I cross the street without looking if there are cars.  I can stop in the middle of a grocery store aisle with the best of them.  I’ve got my Jas and my Neins and my Entschuldigungs all nice and neat.  I can even Prost, when the situation calls.  I REALLY don’t want to take an integration course.

So I’ve been procrastinating and the longer I procrastinated, the worse the situation became in my head.  Before I knew it, they’d send my pregnant ass back to the States where I’d have to employ expensive lawyers to fight to reunite Sparky and our then US born child.  We’d eventually be united under some sort of hardship law or family unification loophole, but we’d be poor and our child would be five.  And really, I don’t want to live here that badly, it’s just when they take it away, I’d have to fight. I’m contrary like that.

So you can see why I put it off as long as I could.  Who wants to be forcibly removed from a country?

Sparky wouldn’t let me put it off for another minute, made the appt and got me down there.  It took 30 minutes.  We had all the right paperwork and I got a temporary permanent visa while they process the paperwork.

And that was it.  No immigration guards, no threats. Not even a lousy fine. I have nothing to show for my foray into illegal immigration status than more worry lines and a husband who thinks I’m crazy.

Seriously, not even a thumb print.

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12 thoughts on “A Legal Alien

  1. cool. we just had the apt at our beloved *cough* ausländerbehörde last week and luckily the guy didn’t seem to know what he was doing really and have C a visa for another two years. after this, it’s “adjustment of status” or i will send his a** back to the states myself 😉

  2. Congratulations, you rebel you!
    I am SO happy that no one asked me about the German Integration Course… I never did it, and like you, I don’t want to.
    Heck, I can even look disapprovingly at the people who DO cross the street against the light! I think I qualify!

  3. Jen, I don’t think you actually have to do an int course. If I remember correctly, you came here the year after I did (2002) and I think that the int course is only for people that came here after 2005. I could be wrong, though.

  4. My immigration issues were so not even close to as easy. I had to leave and go to Romania and come back to sort it out. It turned out a lot better than I expected, but it took ages to pull it off. It was crazyness.

  5. Love your blog. I haven’t posted before, but have had many laughs reading. Thank you!

    Have you seen this? A little clever or cute. It’s from MoveOn and thought you might like to pass it to some *cough* less motivated friends. You can send it to yourself first if you want to test it.

    http://www.cnnbcvideo.com/

    –dave

  6. When I first came over, I worked “illegally” for a few months because I hadn’t noticed my Arbeitserlaubnis had expired. I freaked out royally, thinking I was going to lose my job, get fined or deported, and get a major earful of German bureaucracy. I went in and they were just like, “Whatever! You married a German before it expired, it’s all good.” Glad you’re legal now!

  7. They want to make you take the courses? How german is that? They gave me a hard time, but at least they didn’t make me take the courses, Gott sei Dank.

    Good thing you have Sparky to vouch for you. Time for me to go trenn the Mull, as you never know who is watching.

  8. I never did the course either. I was just sure they were going to give me some kind of verbal exam, on the spot, when I tried to renew my permit. But the guy was so nice to me, chatted away, stamped my documents and sent me home with a smile.

    Does ANYONE do those courses?

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