As opposed to being an illegal alien.
I’ve been Sparky’s illegal bride since July when my visa ran out. Truthfully, I had forgotten all about it until I received written notice to get my ass and two dozen pieces of obscure paperwork down to the Amt.
As we are not drug smugglers and I’m not here working as an illegal prostitute nor am I here for nefarious purposes, it should have been just a matter of collecting the paperwork and finding the time to deal with German bureaucracy.
Seriously, we’re legit.
Except for one little thing. I never took my German Integration course. And they wanted proof that I had actually completed it. And I don’t want to complete it. I don’t even want to start it.
I’m integrated. I cross the street without looking if there are cars. I can stop in the middle of a grocery store aisle with the best of them. I’ve got my Jas and my Neins and my Entschuldigungs all nice and neat. I can even Prost, when the situation calls. I REALLY don’t want to take an integration course.
So I’ve been procrastinating and the longer I procrastinated, the worse the situation became in my head. Before I knew it, they’d send my pregnant ass back to the States where I’d have to employ expensive lawyers to fight to reunite Sparky and our then US born child. We’d eventually be united under some sort of hardship law or family unification loophole, but we’d be poor and our child would be five. And really, I don’t want to live here that badly, it’s just when they take it away, I’d have to fight. I’m contrary like that.
So you can see why I put it off as long as I could. Who wants to be forcibly removed from a country?
Sparky wouldn’t let me put it off for another minute, made the appt and got me down there. It took 30 minutes. We had all the right paperwork and I got a temporary permanent visa while they process the paperwork.
And that was it. No immigration guards, no threats. Not even a lousy fine. I have nothing to show for my foray into illegal immigration status than more worry lines and a husband who thinks I’m crazy.
Seriously, not even a thumb print.