Loki, Loki Artichokie

So, this pregnancy thing, I’m still on the fence about it. Apparently, for me, it’s one big worry fest that will never cease. I’m not quite sure I’m liking it, but I can tell you I’m fur shur liking the kid. I’m digging his personality. I love it when he swims away from the Doppler or when he waves and then flips over during the ultra sound. I like it when he jab-jabs me if I sit in a position that must be squishing him. And I love that he’s always doing what’s not convenient. He’s got spunk and gumption. At least I like it while he’s five inches and stuck in utero. I’m sure it’ll prove to be my undoing later.

I had the amnio. I couldn’t make the decision. I was just a mess of anxiety about making the right choice, so Sparky and my Dr. made the decision. It’s really nice to have a partner in this to help out when I’m useless. Before I knew it, it was done.

I was a bit worried about the 50″ needle plunging halfway through my body, but my doctor took care of that. He asked me about Sarah Palin just before he stuck me. I was still sputtering in indignation by the time he had finished. I didn’t feel a thing except for a bit of pressure.

Then he told me that was what labor would be like, you think it’ll hurt, but it doesn’t. I asked him if he had a vagina because I suspected labor and childbirth were somewhat more painful than a 30 second procedure.

I told him I wanted drugs just to TALK about labor. He told me that really, I’d not even feel it. Having just watched Knocked Up for the 4th time, I doubted that. I mean really, if you can’t count on Hollywood to depict child birth accurately, who can you trust?

He referred me to his female colleague, another doctor, who told me that it hurt, a lot, but you forget it quickly. Well, except for the stitches. Yeah, there is a bit of an incontinence issue too.

Uh, hello? This is exactly why I want a c-section. There seems to be this conspiracy between my team of doctors to get me into NATURAL childbirth – not just no c-section, but no drugs either. They don’t quite get the idea that I hate nature, in all its forms. I don’t walk through forests that aren’t paved, what makes anyone think that I’m going embrace “the most fulfilling experience a woman can have.” Yes, he said that. Obviously, he’s never gone shoe shopping with a wealthy lover. That was pretty fulfilling to me.

I’m going to fight that fight when I get back from the states. I might not get my c-section, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to go without drugs. I’m not doing it and I might be all nice about it right now, but don’t push me into that corner. Not happening.

So, the initial tests came back from the amnio – ALL CLEAR. Loki is as healthy as an avocado-sized-16-week-in-utero can be. I had a freak-out after the amnio that I’ll write about when I’m more in the mood to relive the panic and terror of thinking I was leaking amniotic fluid and had killed the little guy with the amnio I had to make sure he was healthy. Not today. Today I’m too happy.

So, the day America welcomed Obama as our President-Elect, I found out that Sparky and I are welcoming a little boy. I have to say November 5th was a gold star day.

It turns out that Loki was not the only baby conceived after that wedding. Looks like the bride got knocked up too. I’m tellin’ you, lots of red wine, lots of flirting and The Sisters of Mercy go a long way.


14 thoughts on “Loki, Loki Artichokie

  1. You do forget the pain, but it does hurt like hell. I didn’t need stitches and have no problems controlling my bladder. I think my midwife is a goddess and the doctor asked me twice if I knew my drug options. If you want to use them (Frankfurt located), let me know. I lurve them and will share.

  2. A Little Sparky?? Oh my god, I can hardly wait! No need to announce his arrival; we’ll all just KNOW! 😉

    So happy for you both… there will be lots of laughing in the HeisseSheisse household!


  3. see, told ya. he has been a he for me from day 1. now let the name search begin and i know what color to shop for at the baby gap! 🙂

    PS: i asked almost all my gfs about the incontinence thing and one out of six had a tiny problem that went away after a few months… oh and they all said that even thought it hurts more during the event, you’re pretty much back to normal within a couple of days. with a c-section, pain lasts longer. but hey, you gotta do what you feel most comfortable with! xoxo

  4. Congratulations!
    From my viewpoint, first natural (and mostly in water, but with 30 stitches) and second with epidural, I have to say that if there is ever a third it will be an epidural as well. But it’s a personal decision.
    Kegals are the answer to most questions, btw.

  5. A BOY!!! I knew it!

    I can’t believe a man was trying to tell you that labour doesn’t hurt. It hurts plenty, but they have meds for that.

    Yeah, and about that incontinence thing. Some people (ahem) have it for life, others don’t. Just sayin’. 🙂

  6. I gotta weigh in on this one. I did A LOT of research before I gave birth, because I too was a ball of anxiety and I wanted to know everything (repeat EVERYTHING) about what was going to happen to my body and not take some doctor’s opinion. Here’s what I figured out: it depends on you.
    Me, I like nature and I hate needles. And I’m a massochist. Therefore, natural childbirth worked for me. It was not the most fulfilling experience of my life – I hope a life, anyone’s life, is more adventurous and stimulating than that experience, no matter how amazing.
    Whatever you decide, go with your gut instinct and what you know about yourself. And try not to listen to your fears, even when they seem overwhelming.
    There’s a great book that I’d recommend: Henci Goer’s The Thinking Woman’s Guide to Better Birth. She relates things very objectively and upfront. Though she favors natural childbirth she gives it to you straight up, the pros and cons of both approaches. Hope this helps.
    Oh, and the incontinence thing – not an issue.

  7. Congratulations! I can only imagine how exciting it’s going to be to have a little boy running around your house. One of my colleagues had a baby boy six weeks ago and he’s adorable.

  8. I had amnio with JR, found out I was having another girl, and got disappointed. But the moment she was born I adored her so much that I couldn’t have imagined anything else. And I think that’s the way it always is.

    My doctor made me crack up because he put a penny on my belly to mark where he was going to put the needle. And his method of distraction was to try to get patients to spell things backwards. I was apparently the first not to trip over the word “Massachusetts”

    Jen, cookie, as someone who’s done a c-section and a VBAC, go with what the doctors tell you. C-sections are NOT painless–hell, recovering from the c-section was no more fun than the v-birth–and there’s that matter of the scar and your belly muscles. For me, as long as I wear my ballet pants that hold in my belly, I’m fine, but you may be a bikini girl :}

    Get your drug options and don’t deal with a doctor who pooh-poohs the pain. Because no matter what, labor hurts and every labor is different.

    And no matter what, it’s the end result–that beautiful little boy to come–that will be all you’ll really care about when it’s all over.

  9. Congrats on finding out you are having a little boy, as a mum of two boys its pretty wonderful.
    As for the birth thing – 1st – TNS, gas and air, pethidine and excruciating forceps delivery and lots of stitches. 2nd – gas and air, no probs at all.
    I have no probs, as a result, but then being a physio I did my pelvic floor exercises and ones for my tummy muscles too. If you need advice afterwards about these things, just let me know.
    I found out about all types of pain relief and was open to it all depending on how I dealt with my pain. The pain is terrible, but its only one day and what you have as a result ,makes it really worth it.

  10. You women rule. Thanks for all the advice and stuff. I have a partial post written about why i want a c-section, but it gets kind of well, girlie if you catch my drift. one of these days, i’ll be daring enough to post it.

    I’m going to figure this all out when I get back. Until then I’m enjoying it with almost no thought to how this ride ends.

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