14 Reasons It Might Be Difficult Living With Me

Not in any particular order.

1. When I like a song, I have to listen to it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.  This sometimes drives friends, lovers and neighbors to want to hurt me.

Right now it’s Coldplay’s Viva la Vida.  Sorry, Sparks.  I just like the triumph first thing in the morn.

2. My first inclination when I walk in the door is to drop my shoes and clothing.  Living with a partner means giving up some of these habits.  I leave the clothing on, but drop the shoes then forbid Sparky from moving them.  All he wants to do it put them in the same place and at a 90 degree angle.  I forbid it.  A little rebellion at his need for order.

3. Contrary to the shoes, I must wake up to a clean kitchen.  This means cleaning it at night.  Waking to dishes in the sink…  Ooh watch out.  Best you put that plate in the dishwasher before I get up.

4.  When I’m not dancing with Insomnia at night, I usually wake up way too chipper. It would be fine if I left others to their own personal wake up moods and modes, but no.  I don’t.  I’ll serenade you with made up little ditties until you want to throttle me.  Then I’ll skip sprightly away while you contemplate the 50,000 ways you’d like to kill me.

5.  I’m tactile.  I must touch stuff.  Especially stuff that is not mine.  Especially if there is a little sign that says “Do Not Touch”.  Buttons are actually the worst for me.  Never show me a button I’m not allowed to push. I have no self control. This has actually gotten me into some trouble if you can imagine.

6.  When I need attention, I need it Right. This. Second.  I’m 36 and I’ve never really learned how to be patient when it comes to this need.  Sparky thinks it’s because I was Cry It Out* baby.

7.  I’m right more often than I’m wrong.  This is a gift and a curse.

8.  I suffer from an illness called “Let Me Do It” Syndrome.  Sometimes this is also referred to as “I Can Obviously Do It Better, Faster or More Completely, You Dolt” Disorder.  It’s hereditary.  My entire maternal line is afflicted.  However, in my defense, Sparky suffers from Pedantic Kraut Sickness.

9.  I like to be on time for things which often means being early as I anticipate possible obstacles to my punctuality including getting people off their asses and out the door.  This is in direct conflict with every single person in my life that I love being more of the “Eh, we’ll get there when we get there” variety.

9. Math is more of a fluid concept for me.

When I asked Sparky to add to this list, his first and immediate response was to laugh heartily. “You are an angry, angry bitch. Is that what you mean?”

Sparky is no longer has to worry about how difficult it is to live with me.  Or anyone else for that matter.

*We’re reading baby raising books right now and the debate of choice is Cry It Out vs. Co-Sleeping.


14 thoughts on “14 Reasons It Might Be Difficult Living With Me

  1. Speaking in a totally “non-personal” way, I think you may find that very many people do some form of co-sleeping. The only women I know (personally) who did CIO were German, and I know many German women who did not.
    Btw, there is an infinite gradation there, even of the CIO variety. Most pediatricians (all that I have ever heard of) would say that CIO couldn’t start until after 12 weeks in any case, and if you breastfeed you will be feeding no later than every three hours in any case. My biggest problems with my girls in the first 4 months was wakening them to eat. I know it sounds silly, but newborns are definitely not supposed to sleep past feeds, single or multiple, and they can be very difficylt to wake up. Although also sometimes very difficult to put down.
    Oh well,all kids are different. You will figure out what’s best for yours soon enough.

  2. Yeah, right now we’re just debating for debate sake, looking at each of our little “Quirks” and blaming them on our respective mothers.

    The plan is to breastfeed and co-sleep for around 6 months. Breastfeeding weirds me out on so many levels, but I’m determined to the best I can for Lok. I did take your advice and only purchased one bottle to have for emergencies only to re-enforce the breastfeeding thing and avoid all the pitfalls of nipple confusion and baby preferences etc…

    G, we co-sleep with three cats who wake me up when they blink or sleep directly on my head, I can’t imagine being tougher with a kid.

    I know I don’t want a kid in my bedroom for two or three years. I know I need some form of space or I get certifiable. And I have a problem when the martial bed becomes the familial bed for years and years.

    There are two moms I’ve seen in action whose babies are the best. Both kids are well adjusted, bright and just a joy to be around and these mothers have very different parenting styles – Claire and Maria. I’m kind of using them as role models.

    All of this is just theory though. It’s like trying to plan for a tsunami. I know its coming, but I have no idea what it’ll be like to swim in those waters. I just like to be as prepared as I can.

  3. Just too damn funny. Starting out with a list entitled 14 reasons that ends with reason 9 being “math is a fluid concept” – I laughed right out loud.

    And personally, if I were given the choice of my partner either dropping clothes or shoes when they came in the door, I know what my choice would be….

  4. We didn’t co-sleep (I can not sleep in the same bed with my kids they move too much and then as babies I listened to them breathe instead of sleeping myself). We didn’t do CIO until my Boo stopped sleeping through the night at 11 months, but all it took was two weeks and back to nice peaceful sleep. With Chick we are going on 11 months where I have not slept the entire night (often up more than three times a night with her). CIO, co-sleeping, anything and everything doesn’t work with her.

    Sorry that wasn’t exactly helpful was it?

    Don’t worry you and babe will be fine. If you want to do it (co-sleep, cio, etc) do it. Do what YOU want to do. It’s YOUR kid 🙂

  5. Our older one was clingy and slept with us a lot as a baby–and it took us until she was about 4 to get her to sleep in her own bed w/o one of us lying next to her nearby for a while. Even after that, she used to crawl in with me early in the morning. I find that ironic now that she’s about to turn (ack)14 and is near impossible to rouse in the morning…

    Meanwhile my younger girl amazed me from being fine about sleeping in her own portacrib next to me from the start. I was breast feeding her as much as I could manage (I’m a lousy cow) and occasionally we’d fall asleep that way, but she never protested about going back to her own bed. She was my easy baby and now she’s my easy kid 🙂

    Oh, and the cats we had then slept with us, and the cats we have now do the same. One sleeps behind my head and the other usually tries to wedge between us–I call it “cattus interruptus” 😀

    Make a plan for what you want to do, but expect Loki to make up his mind for you. They’re like that…..

  6. I remember those days…trying to figure out what is best and then ignoring what you thought you were going to do and really doing whatever makes you comfortable!

    We tried to sleep with Baby Bird but I couldn’t sleep well with him because he is the KING of bed hogs! (his poor future wife) He would end up perpendicular to us by morning! I realized that “getting sleep” Mama was a much better Mama than “not getting any sleep” Mama so he slept in a bassinet next to our bed for months. Eventually, it just seemed natural to lay him in his own room.

    Science, scmience! 🙂

    As for the napping, I have my opinions on what worked best for us but you need to find what works best for you. I think “crying it out for hours” is not necessarily a good idea for children but Ferber has a good method. If you can get the no-cry solution to work, cool. Don’t put any pressure on yourself now…you will find what works for your fam (just like everyone else has said here)

    Ok now I am just rambling…Good luck!

  7. I think I just spit out some water when you said I’m a role-model.

    Something to add to your discussion–

    When I started, I never thought I’d bf beyond six months. Two years and still nursing my little one. I swore that the crib is where a baby should sleep too… until my little boy (and midwife… ha ha) changed my mind.

    Moral of the story– No matter what you decide now until the little one is there, it is hard to know how it will go for you and your family. 🙂

  8. My mother was strict CIO with me. About everything–feedings, skinned knees, or even just wanting a cuddle. I grew into the neurotic wretch you see today.

    For many reasons, too numerous to list here, she changed her mind with my younger brother. We were never a sleep-together family, but I could sense a different attitude, and see different behaviour. He is now happy, well adjusted and successful.

    I am not a parent, let alone a mother. But my gut-feel tells me that feeding your baby provides emotional succour, as well as physical nourishment. My guess is that you will know in your heart when he needs the former, even if your head tells you he doesn’t need the latter.

    Love, HB8

  9. … quick add: I normally do not comment on spelling errors or typos, since I do tend to make a lot of them myself (…my fingers speeding across the keyboard like winged demons ;).

    However, HB8 is so choosy with his wording and such a sophisticated communication professional in person, that the BE spelling (just looked that up on dictionary.com) just stood out. Now he looks either

    a) even more learned, for using the more uncommon spelling or
    b) like the classy world traveller and renaissance man he is

    Well played, Sir, well played! When will you start wearing monocles and top hats :)))?

  10. I used the French spelling as a protest over the Bush administration’s education policy. Isn’t that obvious?

    Of course, I don’t need to do that any more. So excuse me, while I go give succour to my favourite coque.

  11. my two cents on CIO vs. co-sleeping because everyone and their mother, so to speak, has something to say on the topic; be wary of any and all parenting books (as none of the authors know your family) and the two are extremes of a very large spectrum of approaches to sleep – go with the middle road.

    We are all scientists with our children. We must first observe them to see what they need and then respond appropriately to solve any problem in a way that is good for the family. Unfortunately, are like astronomers after a week of night time observing; a bit loopy from the lack of sleep but really enjoying the sunrises on the mountain top.

    Good luck in your exploration

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