There are many, many things that irritate me. Some I write about, most I don’t. Stupid things like walking down the street can irritate me. Mouth breathers and people who move their lips while reading irritate me. I hate it when I can hear people swallow. Yellow cars, knee high boots with leggings a la Robin Hood, purple nail polish, loud bass in a car next to me at a stop light, singers who get record contracts before they are old enough to drink – all these things send irritated signals to my brain. You get my drift.
However, this octuplet lady hits that Palin level of pissiness in me.
I’ve always been irritated at the 5,6,7 baby fertility stories. Most of the time, these couples cannot afford to support this many kids. “Oops”, they say,”We didn’t expect this?” Really? And how is it different than the teenager who didn’t think she could get pregnant the first time? You have to assume: You shoot, You score. Act responsibly. These litter moms get community sponsorship and corporate sponsorship alike for situations they and their irresponsible doctors created.
What makes couples who have this many kids in one batch more deserving of couples who have only say, two kids and are struggling to pay the bills, work and care for them? What about the single working mom of one who needs help with diapers, a functioning car, formula or just plain house cleaning?
Okay. Enter this 33-year-old divorced mother of six between the ages of 2-7. She has eight frozen embryos left from her earlier fertility treatments. So being clever, under the guidance of REALLY clever and ethical doctors, she uses all eight in one try because she doesn’t want them destroyed?
There are so many problems with this logic that it’s best that I’m writing because I can’t catch my breath I get so pissed.
1. No need to destroy the embryos. I know at least ONE woman right now who would have taken one of those embryos, given it a very nice uterus to grow in and a very wonderful life full of love and happiness. I know there are at least seven other women who would take one. If not donate/sell them, let them sit on ice for a while. Way, way less emotionally and financially expensive than 14 kids.
2. What doctor in their right “First, Do No Harm” mind would implant 8 embryos? Loki was conceived on my last try before IVF. One of my limited cycles produced 2 or more follicles that could have resulted in multiple births. My doctor ended the cycle prematurely specifically because of this possibility. While twins would have been just fine with me (don’t ask Sparky’s opinion), Dr. G was more concerned with the possibility of three or more and health of all of us. Her goal was to help me have a healthy family and not put any of us at risk? The doctor who implanted this woman with 8 embryos was obviously not so concerned. And frankly, that doctor should be held financially responsible as if he/she knocked up this woman the old fashioned way.
3. How about the 6 other kids? Ever think of them? This borders child abuse. How does a single mom care for 14 kids under the age of 7? Seriously? Any moms out there feeling overwhelmed with one or two? There are limits on day care centers as to the teacher/child ratio. This woman will need help. She’ll not be able to do it alone. This ain’t like practicing for that triple axel so she can go to the Olympics. It must be a team effort and this lady doesn’t have a team.
4. So, a single, unemployed mom with 6 other kids has 8 babies and gets a new van, book deals and corporate sponsorship. What if she were gay, employed and financially responsible? Would GM be jumping to provide her with a van? Would the Christian anti-choice movement be jumping to defend her reproductive rights or would these same people be condemning her for her “lifestyle”?
5. Who is absorbing the cost for this? She’s a Kaiser patient, so the 46 or 49 doctors required to deliver the kids is covered by Kaiser, but later? Tell me, how is this woman going to support 14 kids? She’s unemployed and living with her parents. A sperm donor ensured that there won’t likely be any child support from a partner. Are we going to be bailing out this woman? Probably. Seems to be en vogue to bail out the irresponsible. Anyone going to help Carol with her kids college tuition? She did everything right, she saved for her kids, thought ahead, worked hard, but that didn’t stop the economy from devastating those savings accounts. Is she less deserving? I think not.
How is this woman any different from say an old woman hoarding cats or more appropriately, a Wall Street exec? With the cat hoarder, they take the cats away and give them better homes because the woman, and it is usually women, is mentally ill. How many people would scream in defense of this woman if it were suggested that her kids be given to loving families?
This woman and her doctors represent everything that is wrong with America. America is all about having the freedom to make choices. This freedom is in the bones of every American I know. But this freedom comes with a price and that price is responsibility. It’s the consummate greed paired with absolute irresponsibility and complete narcissism that has brought America to her knees and it is these exact qualities that will bring 14 innocent kids, in the public eye no less, to a very difficult childhood with an obviously mentally impaired mother.
And we just watch. Our failing companies sponsor it, our medical teams enable it, our media encourages it. America is Pinocchio’s Pleasure Island and we’ve all become jack asses.