Because my drawers are too full to stick Loki in. And really, this “sacrifice for baby” thing is getting old. I have to stretch out Heidi, my lovely and perfectly-toned nether regions, AND give up drawer space? I think not. I’m ordering that crib post haste.
Somehow, in a span of four days, I went from being more-fat-than-pregnant to “Hello World, here’s my uterus and the reason for my Selma Hayek-like chest.” Seriously. Four days. I now waddle. My back hurts. I get up slowly from chairs and scoot backwards off the bed. All in four days. Four days? Even Sparky gave me a “Whoa, you look really pregnant.” He looked scared when he said it. Not scared like I was going to belt him, but scared like my stomach was going to take over the world. And Baby, it’s only gonna get bigger. Scheisse.
Claire came down this weekend. Not only did she bring gorgeous hand-me-downs and an infant car seat, she hauled my now really pregnant ass down to a hellacious furniture mecca to look at baby furniture that was not made for elves. Seriously, this place makes Ikea look like a nice mom and pop shop.
I’m 5’9″ (unless you ask Jami or Mim) and Sparky is 6′. Neither one of us were looking forward to bending down 4.5 feet to put a baby in a crib and I hadn’t found any that were made at a reasonable height.
Claire said there were other cribs out there and I didn’t believe her. Well, she showed me and my negative attitude towards German baby furniture. This Wunder von Weiderstadt actually has some cute cribs that are about 5 inches higher than my hip bone.
There is an eight week delivery window. I’m nine weeks out. I think I might want to order that crib/dresser, bookshelf today.
Claire also gave me the total scoop on Drugstore Baby Care. Seriously, how lucky am I? She spent about 40 minutes talking me through baby butt products telling me what was necessary as opposed to what might look necessary but isn’t, formula in case I need it, baby food when Lok is old enough. All that jazz. It was awesome.
And to top it all off, she came for the weekend, handing her little dude off to her mother-in-law for her first weekend away from him all for me and Loki. I am a very lucky girl indeed.
It’s snowing. I think I have to thank my friend Tilman for that. I complained to him that I didn’t get enough snow this year and lo and behold, I wake up and it’s snowing. Big, fat, just for me flakes. He also fixed the internet that the electrician broke (after the phones went out) so I pretty much think Tilman can do anything.
When Sparky heard the internet was down, I thought he was going to go into shock. He was like Amy Winehouse when she heard her dealer had been arrested. In. Total. Panic. Mode. Sparky started stabbing at his keyboard. When that didn’t work, he went to his iPhone and got a small, maintenance fix, but you could tell by his rolling eyeballs that it wasn’t going to be enough.
Tilman saved the day. He looked at it, figured out the problem, SMS’d Sparky and over all just handled it. Don’t you just love people who can just handle shit. Did I mention he knows how to make coffee too? Seriously, the man is almost myth-like in his abilities.
So all in all, I lucked the “f” out this weekend.
I think I’ll leave it at that because Ironus is always listening and I’m waiting for him to make me pay for the fantastic time I had. I’m sure the baby furniture I picked out today will be back-ordered for nine months and the bassinet will be recalled after I get it home due to spontaneous combustion or something.