Must. Order. Baby. Furniture.

Because my drawers are too full to stick Loki in.  And really, this “sacrifice for baby” thing is getting old.  I have to stretch out Heidi, my lovely and perfectly-toned nether regions, AND give up drawer space?  I think not.  I’m ordering that crib post haste.

salma-hayekSomehow, in a span of four days, I went from being more-fat-than-pregnant to “Hello World, here’s my uterus and the reason for my Selma Hayek-like chest.”  Seriously.  Four days.  I now waddle.  My back hurts.  I get  up slowly from chairs and scoot backwards off the bed.  All in four days. Four days?  Even Sparky gave me a  “Whoa, you look really pregnant.”  He looked scared when he said it.  Not scared like I was going to belt him, but scared like my stomach was going to take over the world.  And Baby, it’s only gonna get bigger. Scheisse.

Claire came down this weekend.   Not only did she bring gorgeous hand-me-downs and an infant car seat, she hauled my now really pregnant ass down to a hellacious furniture mecca to look at baby furniture that was not made for elves. Seriously, this place makes Ikea look like a nice mom and pop shop.

I’m 5’9″ (unless you ask Jami or Mim) and Sparky is 6′.  Neither one of us were looking forward to bending down 4.5 feet to put a baby in a crib and I hadn’t found any that were made at a reasonable height.

Claire said there were other cribs out there and I didn’t believe her.  Well, she showed me and my negative attitude towards German baby furniture. This Wunder von Weiderstadt actually has some cute cribs that are about 5 inches higher than my hip bone.

There is an eight week delivery window.  I’m nine weeks out.  I think I might want to order that crib/dresser, bookshelf today.

Claire also gave me the total scoop on Drugstore Baby Care.  Seriously, how lucky am I?  She spent about 40 minutes talking me through baby butt products telling me what was necessary as opposed to what might look necessary but isn’t, formula in case I need it, baby food when Lok is old enough.  All that jazz.  It was awesome.

And to top it all off, she came for the weekend, handing her little dude off to her mother-in-law for her first weekend away from him all for me and Loki. I am a very lucky girl indeed.

It’s snowing.  I think I have to thank my friend Tilman for that.  I complained to him that I didn’t get enough snow this year and lo and behold, I wake up and it’s snowing.  Big, fat, just for me flakes.  He also fixed the internet that the electrician broke (after the phones went out) so I pretty much think Tilman can do anything.

When Sparky heard the internet was down, I thought he was going to go into shock.  He was like Amy Winehouse when she heard her dealer had been arrested. In. Total. Panic. Mode.   Sparky started stabbing at his keyboard.  When that didn’t work, he went to his iPhone and got a small, maintenance fix, but you could tell by his rolling eyeballs that it wasn’t going to be enough.

Tilman saved the day. He looked at it, figured out the problem, SMS’d Sparky and over all just handled it.  Don’t you just love people who can just handle shit.  Did I mention he knows how to make coffee too?  Seriously, the man is almost myth-like in his abilities.

So all in all, I lucked the “f” out this weekend.

I think I’ll leave it at that because Ironus is always listening and I’m waiting for him to make me pay for the fantastic time I had.  I’m sure the baby furniture I picked out today will be back-ordered for nine months and the bassinet will be recalled after I get it home due to spontaneous combustion or something.

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16 thoughts on “Must. Order. Baby. Furniture.

  1. The co-sleeping thing will only work if I have a little bed next to our bed. Between Sparky’s “Fists of Suppressed Rage” and the three cats, I worry that Loki will be harmed. I’m looking at one of those Arm’s Reach beds so he can be on my side, safe and sound. Unless it doesn’t get here in time, then Sparky’s on the sofa and the cats are locked out and Lokster and I can sleep peacefully.

  2. LOL! The thought of Sparky on the sofa just made me spit coffee out– not because of any reason, other than I think about his dissatisfaction in the arrangement. Or my perception of his dissatisfaction. For his sake and yours, I hope the crib and/or arm’s reach arrive before Loki. 🙂

  3. Does Claire or someone have a bassinet you can borrow? Smaller and lighter than a crib and easier to keep next to the bed. Then you don’t have to worry about the crib showing up on time, and you have somewhere safe to stash Loki when he’s not with you.

    I had a bassinet for SC, but since she didn’t want to be anywhere but in my arms’ or the Man’s, she used it very little. Looking back on that, today, her 14th (!) birthday when sometimes she doesn’t even want to be in the same room with us, all I can say is “hug them lots while they’re little!”

  4. I think you helped me even more lady. Take a look at my take on the weekend. There is a little joke for you at the end.

    PS I am calling at the end of the week to make sure that you did your homework!!

  5. That’s awesome she came to help out. Order that furniture, can’t put the babe in a suitcase! Naw, they do fit anywhere though, just saying.

    I can’t believe you’re almost done. The last months are tough but think of the sweet reward.

  6. Also an American expat (living in Freiburg) due to have my first baby in mid April – I´ve been joking that we´ll put the baby in a laundry basket 🙂

  7. OMG! You are soooo lucky!
    Claire came down and gave you lessons. I don’t care if they were diaper rash lessons… they were lessons from Claire!
    >>> I’m making my jealous face here! <<<

  8. Glad you had a great weekend with Claire. Are you sure there’s no where that has the arm’s reach or other cribs in stock? We’ve got a big ole furniture store in little ole Regensburg that has arm’s reach bassinets and Stokke cribs and more ready to take home. You might look around and save yourself the worry. Or if you know exactly what you want, order it online. Check Amazon.de or the Mamas Worldwide Store Directory. I’m sure someone in Germany has it in stock and ready to ship. 🙂

  9. Sounds like you did got lucky sis. FYI “household Linens” are on the way, Should be there in about ten days. Love you
    -Bro

  10. Like Snooker, I’m jealous too! Personal lessons from “The Great Claire”. What more could a girl ask for?!? 🙂

    I’ve found GREAT prices on bassinetts and such on amazon.de AND ebay.de. In fact, we just purchased a bassinett – oh it’s so cute! – from ebay. Bubba Joe and his dad put it together the same day it arrived!

    We’re sending back the glider – have you had any luck? Or perhaps does “The Great Claire” have any suggestions?

  11. Seriously, go for a bassinet/cradle for the first few months. We borrowed a cradle from friends for a little while and it was great since a little baby can get pretty lost in one of those great big cribs at first. I don’t know what it’s like now, but when I had my kids back in the dark ages they only had those cribs with the adjustable mattress height but you couldn’t move the sides up or down. Nice backache every time I leaned down to get the babe out, I tell ya. I’m sure things are more modern now.

  12. Luckily we never did the family bed thing with Malcolm. He took to his crib very nicely right from the start. But we did do the dresser drawer thing the 1st time we took him to the cabin in Truckee — so cute in that drawer! (um, the drawer was taken out of the dresser entirely, lined with receiving blankets & placed in the middle of a large bed — it’s not like he was in a partly pulled out drawer hanging in space, or worse yet, in a closed drawer – HAHA).

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