Felled Again

Dude, there I was, minding my own business, finally feeling recovered from that stupid rotavirus when BAM! I got hit with a very nasty chest cold that has now moved up into my sinuses.

Seriously?  I have 6 weeks left to get my entire house together before the world goes boom with a baby and I pick up every stupid virus out there?  Really?

In a sleep deprived hacking freakout I tried to explain to Sparky that EVERYTHING needs to be perfect and clean and tidy before Loki gets here or the world will end.

To this, my dear, sweet, very loving husband said, and I quote here,” Ah, if its not all done, it’s no big deal.  We’ll get to it eventually.”

I now understand how in horror movies, people can blindly, foolishly walk into the lair of the serial killer.  Sparky had just meandered into the living room of a killer, complete with an alter of skulls illuminated by blue light and the only thing that registered in his mind as the front door swung shut was the pretty color on the walls.

Holy mother of god. The fact that I did not jump out of my chair and skin him alive is my proof that there is such a thing as free will.

In my head, I became this whirling dervish of psychotic nesting, ripping the lungs out of an man with one hand as I re-folded baby clothes with the other.

In reality, I sat back, took a breath and tried to explain that once Loki arrives, ALL other business ceases to exist.  The basement won’t be cleaned out, the CDs won’t be organized and the DVDs will never be put back in their cases.

Perhaps Sparky should read a few mommy blogs or a pamphlet or something because while I don’t have a kid, I DO know it’s not quite the same as a new kitten.  And kittens are a lot of work.

On the positive side, being as sick as I’ve been, I’ve lost enough weight that after Loki’s arrival, I should be lighter than I was pre-Loki.  That’s what trying to drown this bitch of a virus has done.  It’s like I’m on a clense.  Water, teas, soups.  And once again, Loki is doing fabulously, dancing as he does on my bladder, acting like a little Goa’uld (except for the immune system benefit), all 19 inches of him.


3 thoughts on “Felled Again

  1. Sorry dear but Sparky is right (stay seated 🙂 ).
    Every effort you make on cleaning or organizing anything is pointless. A tidy, clean apartment is a temporary state that only exists during the kid’s absence.
    A cleaning woman may give temporary relief but unless you don’t have her on a daily basis just forget about that and wait for the day until Loki develops OCD or he’s 18 and out of the house – whatever comes first.
    Sure, there’s also some mums who always look like they come from the beauty farm and their apartments/houses are always aseptically clean. But they are actually aliens. And additionally I have a healthy distrust for seemingly perfect people.

  2. My gosh woman! You need to stop this.
    Blowing your nose every three minutes is nothing you want to have to do while having that baby.

  3. Agree with Tilman – there’s something wrong with people who have kids and a clean house. The two can not co-exist. Don’t worry, you’ll adapt (or be so tired in the beginning that you really don’t care).

    Thank you for the kind words about my parenting and the park. And you will be great!

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