No Calories and 100% Party

This is the advertising for the bag of crushed ice I bought.  I had no idea that ice was calorie free.  I’m so glad they told me. And it’s 100% party.  I was looking for a party and now that I have my bag of ice, well, there is no stopping me.


Thanks to Kerry, Max now has 2 Exersaucers.  She sent me to this website which had me foaming at the mouth.  I immediately jumped on the first saucers I saw and drove an hour each way to pick them up.  I had to have two because, you know, good enough is never enough.  Let’s not get into the psychological ramifications of that.

I told Alice that I was going back down to pick up the Baby Einstein after I had already picked up the Evenflo and she says to me:

“You know, it’s not going to make him smarter, right?”


Not being able to run down to the local Toys-R-Us makes me panic the same way not being able to shop on Sundays made me panic when I first moved here.  I HAVE TO STOCK UP or my world will collapse.

Both were filthy.  Like child neglect filthy.  And a child had to have sat in them this filthy.  Thank got I have a bathtub built for two large people so I can soak Exersaucers. If I had actually seen them before I had driven an hour to pick them up, like at a garage sale, I would have walked away.

I’m really bad at negotiating and I’m REALLY bad at walking away after making a deal.  I probably should have, but now, after about five hours of cleaning each one, disinfecting and washing the fabric parts three times, they look like new and I’m not afraid of the Ebola that had to have been on them when I picked them up.

My cell phone has died and my comp is on it’s last internet legs. I hate Sony.  I hate Microsoft and my next piece of equipment will have to be a freakin’ Apple as much as I hate it.  Sparky is an Apple zealot if you’ve never met him and it will kill me to buy an Apple because it will give him an ounce of pleasure.

In random WTF-ness, my Bank of America ATM card came in the mail today… post marked from New Zealand.

It’s 2:58 am and the house is asleep.  Why am I awake?  Well, seems that Ollie took the 100% party to heart.  He’s wailing away and running through the house as if he’s on crack.  This woke me up and so now here I am, not bitter or anything.

Check out the elbow dimples on that kid.  His cheeks are in serious danger of being nibbled at some point during his 1000 kisses a day.  Am I lucky or what?



10 thoughts on “No Calories and 100% Party

  1. Gorgeous boy and so lucky to have a momma who knows he needs two exersaucers! Really, those things are a pain in the butt to lug so I’m with ya. One in the kids room and one in the living room right?

  2. Oh, yes you are!!! He is really gorgeous.

    So very lucky (even though you bought ebola/tripper/pest infestet exer-saucers). You should really learn to say NO! sells them too, but new and shiny and without any deaseses. They deliver even to Germany. I like amazon.
    Enjoy many 100% parties more.

  3. I remember a New Zealand media story a few years ago that American companies were going to start using us for call centers because we’re cheap, we speak English, and -apparently- our accent sounds trustworthy to Americans.

    I never heard any more about it, but maybe Bank of America base their support services in NZ?

  4. Yum yum yum. How do you find time to do anything else but nibble on that adorably baby??

    I just read somewhere that used baby/kid stuff is actually better because all the nasty chemicals have already been washed out of it.

  5. So an excerciser is a walker?? Seriously, I had no idea what you were talking about. I knew a woman in my play group that got her kid one. I was like, “Cool. Where did you get it?” But before she could, other women in the group were all like, “How can you do that to your kid?? They need freedom to learn to walk on their own . . . blah, blah?” I hate moms like that. She and I were like, “Huh??” Christopher did not have one because of the big step in our living room. I had nightmares of him rolling right off the ledge. BTW, that friend of mine . . . her son was the youngest in the group . . . and the first one to walk on his own. Ha!

    PS I was awake at 2:30am this morning. For no particular reason though.

  6. The spy phone died? Bummer. You’ll love the Iphone. It’s similar to my Ipod Touch – which is just fantastic. I wouldn’t buy an Apple computer, though.

    Re: Claire’s comment: “But before she could, other women in the group were all like, “How can you do that to your kid?? They need freedom to learn to walk on their own”

    hahahaha! How German is that!

  7. Andrea: It is working out pretty good. I can’t complain. I’m liking the two in different rooms.

    Elli: does not deliver these items outside the US or an APO address. TRUST me, I research crap like this for ages before i jump. I contemplated having my brother bring it over, but the box itself is huge. Jeff isn’t a fan of the muling I make every US visitor do, so asking him to lug that thing around was just too much to ask.

    James: I love the NZ accent. Love, love, love it. It was just so odd to get my American shit delivered to Germany from NZ.

    Christina: I don’t. Its all baby all the time. He’s getting to that point where I’m going to have to let him cry just a little when i put him down for a nap because he likes me RIGHT THERE all the time. and while the co-dependent in me rejoices, this isn’t a good way to continue. Mama needs his naps time for things like blogging or brushing my teeth.

    I totally love used baby stuff. I hate the waste that is produced for a little being who will use it for a week and then move on, buuuut, this stuff was so filthy that i considered just dumping it or at least making a comment to the people who sold it to me like” Oh are you getting rid of this because child protective services took your kids away?” At one point i wondered if i should have asked if the exersaucer had been in a meth lab because i can only assume junkies could be so filthy.

    Maria: Dude, it is so hard not too. Sometimes i just lick those cheeks because its the closest i can get to actually nibbling without nibbling. It drives me batty.

    Claire: Its actually a saucer on the bottom with a mechanism that let’s the baby jump just a little. it’s not a walker as the kid can’t go anywhere. The seat in the middle spins so the baby can play with all the toys and the saucer part is supposed to help with balance.

    there is controversy over the whole walker, jumper, saucer idea with both our countries differing over which is better. Walkers are our of favor in the US followed by jumpers because of the injuries. Saucers are our of favor here because they allow the kid to stand before he might be able to unaided.

    I like my saucer. I mean, Max likes the saucers. and he can sit almost unaided and stand on everything using my fingers so this is perfect for him. he’s technically almost too tall for it, but hell, he’s only 3.5 months old.

    J: yes the spy phone finally died. Sad.
    I will never, ever get an iphone for various reasons. one being that apparently I have an iron difficency and the stupid screen doesn’t respond to my fingers. I have tested this out on many, many. MANY touches and phones. 2nd, i’ve talked too much shit about iPhones and like I told Tilman, I’ll eat my pants before i get one.

    You should read Global Librarian’s (don’t think i spelled that right) post on letting her 7 month old play in the street. I cracked up. She’s in Switz, but the ideas are similar.

  8. God Jen- that ice is SOOO German in a way that only Americans in Germany could understand. Love all the baby pics- I cannot look at Max without smiling.

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