Acrylic Killed the Porno Star

Out of 15,000 women, Germany came in number one as the worst lovers because they stink.

As it is simply an odor issue, may I suggest Germans, in general, stop wearing acrylic and other man made fibers AND wear actual deodorant or, god forbid, antiperspirant.

Sparky didn’t use deodorant when I first met him.  A gym rat (with a fantastic ass, an 8-pack and a hero’s chin) who showered twice a day to remove any odor and well, it didn’t always work.  Sparky didn’t stink.  He smelled like, well, man.  Know what I mean?

Dewey, you know what I mean.

BUT, not everyone liked what I liked.  So, one of the first things I did with the Sparkster when I met him was gently introduce him to my Sure and all-natural fabrics and holy shit, did that change the world. As an American, deodorant is a birth right responsibility.  With Sparky, I had to finagle a bit, finesse a little.  Mostly I had to fight the “it’s not natural” argument.  I countered with my own “It’s not natural, but I do it” arguments. Let’s just say that trumped his argument, hands down.

(The second thing I did was introduce him to pants that didn’t advertise his religion, but that is another story for another day.)

Give ’em a bath and a deo stick and Germans just might be on the other list.  At least they are starting off ahead of the pack!

Yum

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Posted in KAK

7 thoughts on “Acrylic Killed the Porno Star

  1. I laughed so hard when I saw this report on another website. Really. Do you think I would change careers, leave my country, friends and family to marry a man who was a bad lover? Really, smell does not make someone a bad love. A small penis might, which is why the Brits make the list. Germans however . . .

  2. I have stopped wearing deodorant, and I smell nice. Sometimes I use a crystal (natural deodorant), but lately not at all. Maybe I need to move back to Germany? LOL!

  3. Claire: so did I, laugh that is. My experieince with british men is well, yes, rather on the small side.

    Maria: You are such a granola mama. I cannot go with out it. I wish I could but the moment I start to smell myself I go ape shit.

    Tat: Dude, so not our bathroom. It was at the Hotel 27 in Copenhagen. And a lovely bathroom, indeed.

  4. u totes got me pegged. i love manscent. & other than one day (for a wedding) i haven’t worn deo since being laid off in Feb. the boys seem to like it. hmmm.

  5. i’m also fond of pants that advertise… espesh when the advertisement is for something other than ‘mutilated @ birth’… i have stories!

  6. I’d agree that Germans do have a higher instance of body odor. It’s not like the Czech Republic in Summer time, but there’s still some work to be done there. Body odor is like too much perfume: it’s invasive and rude.

    Along with the sources you note, we might throw in washing clothes. I have colleagues who will get more than five wears out of an article of clothing before surrendering it to the laundry.

    I was amazed when I was in China and learned that deodorant was being sold as “body perfume” and was just taking off as a “western trend”. This was because they don’t as rule need antiperspirant. For the most part, the Chinese don’t have sweat glands in their armpits. For those unlucky few that did, you could go to any hospital and have the glands clamped off. In Beijing the going rate was 150 dollars.

    I was totally considering it. As an American I would have continued to wear deodorant any way, just to be double sure. 🙂

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