Random Thoughts of the Sleep Deprived

  • Max will sleep for Sparky, but not me.
  • Had my hair colored and she threw in an eyebrow color for free. So I said, “Why not!”
  • I can now tell you why not.  My brows are now dark, dark brown to light brown hair.  Looks odd. And my brows are crooked. As long as I am always arching my left, it looks okay.  Otherwise, I have some plucking to do.
  • How does Sparky know when I change my razor? I use it once and come back to gross man hair in the blades. Sparky – stop shaving your chest hair with my razor!
  • I’ve mentioned it before and I know the consequences, but I always eat too many wintos when drinking diet coke.  THIS happens in my belly.
  • After NINE months of almost no sleep, we are going the CIO route.  I need sleep, plain and simple.  I. Can. No. Longer. Function. Without. Sleep. We are on day three, nap time is a breeze.  Nighttime is still a nightmare.
  • Max eats everything except milk products now.  Like Japanese, Chinese, Pizza, Italian and Mexican.  If I try to pawn off baby food, he spits it out and reaches for whatever I’m eating. Message received, Kid.
  • Nanny procured.  She starts in a week.  This is the hot one who, while hot does not work in her favor, her credentials do.  And Max likes her. I might be a teensy bit worried. Like hausfrau needs to go to the gym and not fuck up her eyebrows sort of worried.  But then again, if a Jude Law situ comes up, I get everything and the house and move back to Cali where I will have The Real Housewives of Orange County plastic surgery performed and re-marry for money and Sparky will be living with his mother and downloading porn.  I guess I’m not that worried.
  • It’s been snowing so much and up until yesterday I’ve been alone so much this place was starting to resemble the Overlook Hotel.
  • All work and no play makes Jen a dull girl.
  • All work and no play makes Jen a dull girl.
  • All work and no play makes Jen a dull girl.
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4 thoughts on “Random Thoughts of the Sleep Deprived

  1. Congrats on the nanny!
    As for the CIO thing – it took Lu three, maybe four nights. It was sheer hell. But the sleep I got afterward was heavenly. My doc at the time even said, “I have three kids, you think I’d have learned. But with every kid I had to be at my wits end before I would do it.” She said (caveat being they were at least 6 mo. old), “Go sleep at the other end of the house and put in ear plugs. Three to four days is all it takes. But you have to stick it out or it’s back to square one.”
    Be brave and think of the restful nights to come.

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