Happy Birthday, Kate

My mother would have been 62 today. She made it to 49. It amazes me how much time has passed and how it feels both long ago and just yesterday.

I was talking to Sparky last week about our dead parents.  What if they could come back for a day and catch up, what would we tell them?

I got my shit together, my credit score is closer 800 than not, I got married, I live in Germany, I’ve traveled through Europe, I have a kid, Cleo died too, honeymooned in Paris, vacationed in Tuscany with John, lived alone in Hamburg, lost weight.

She’s got other kids so I can’t spend too much time.  Then there is my step-dad who after 13 ish years has moved to Atlanta and disconnected the phone number we had since I was 12. That was an odd feeling, calling our phone number and having it disconnected.

The house Mim grew up in and my mom died in is going to be sold. Before that it will be repainted and the colors my mom choose long ago will disappear.

The house being sold affects all of us kids differently. I haven’t spent time there in years, staying with my brother when I visit. Yet the ghosts have never moved on. I could walk in the house this minute and still hear our youthful screams in the hallways, smell the chlorine from summers spent in the pool or the Tilex my mom would use on our bathroom floors. I can hear my mom stomping on the floor of her room because we were being too loud as she was trying to fall asleep or the slamming of my door in the middle or rather end of a fight.

I lived only there for four years – almost 14 until my 18th birthday. Miranda, her whole life. Jeff and Dave somewhere in between.  I wish I could get any one of them to write and tell me how they feel about the house being sold because in many ways I feel like I’m in mourning again.

Here are some words I have written about my mother in the past.

Happy Birthday, Mom.  I miss you.

The Dead Mother Joke

The Dead Mother Table

The Sainted Mother Speaks

And a bit more serious


5 thoughts on “Happy Birthday, Kate

  1. Posts like these make me wish there was a ‘thumbs up’ button on blogs so I could acknowledge and virtually nod without having to write any words and screw it up.

    {likes this post}

  2. beautiful pic of your mom!!! you DO look just like her.. Dave’s feelings about the house? He’s excited for John…and has been going threw some of the old stuff laying around. For example- yesterday we were busting a move in our garage to “jen’s rap tape” he found. nice song selection. lol He was playing on an old boom box that still had a cassette player..Truly, he thinks it’s good for his dad to try new things… I honestly don’t think he’s gunna sell that house. 🙂 just a hunch.

  3. I love how you say: “Yet the ghosts have never moved on.” My mother died a long time ago and my father moved to a new appartement a bit over 7 years ago. I remember moving day everybody was excited an anxious for the new appartement. Everybody except for me. I felt that moving would be leaving my mother behind, because I too feel that her ghost never moved out. It was like saying goodbye to her again. Thank you for sharing this and would you mind if I track-backed it to my blog (it fairly new and I doubt anybody is reading it, but I’d still want to ask you first)? Blessings to you and your family, Kianys

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s